


Hello Jaehyun

by felisselita



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Heavy Fluff, Helpful Johnny is helpful, M/M, Praise Kink, Sweet Talking, Warning: Super SLOW update!, also forgot, and jaehyun liking it a bit too much, is it just me or do we all need more easy reading fluffy canon compliant jaeyong fic, like just really slightly, petting, probably, this is just a mess of taeyong pampering jaehyun with compliments and sweet nothings, yea maybe it's just me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-19
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2018-11-15 23:12:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 28,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11241249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felisselita/pseuds/felisselita
Summary: Taeyong's habit of ruffling the hair on the back of Jaehyun's head is just. Just. (Jaehyun has no words, and Johnny solves everything with bets.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this fic, I make up names of producers and brands. It's not important... Just letting y'all know. Also Johnny and Jaehyun are roommates. Also warning : as always, cheesy.

\---

            It usually goes like this: some of NCT members just sitting down and having a chat, could be in a waiting room, radio station seats, the van, the dorm, or other places, Taeyong seated next to Jaehyun by chance, Jaehyun says something funny, then Taeyong laughs and ruffles the hair above the back of Jaehyun's neck. Sometimes, it's the others who say something funny, but when Jaehyun laughs he'd find Taeyong's fingers on the back of his head.

            Jaehyun doesn't mind the touch. Taeyong's hands are usually warm, or if they're not, Taeyong would realize right away and keep his fingers between the strands of Jaehyun's hair, not touching his skin. So that's all fine.

            But lately, something is just—something’s not right. Taeyong used to do it a lot, but lately... Jaehyun just feels. Wrong.

            So one day, on the way home from DJ-ing NCT Night Night, so tired Jaehyun has no self-control left, Jaehyun decides to ask Johnny.

            "Johnny-hyung, you know how sometimes Taeyong-hyung," Jaehyun pauses, unsure of himself but too late to take it back. "Sometimes Taeyong-hyung, um, when we're talking, sometimes he ruffles my hair."

            Johnny waits for the continuation that doesn't come. "And?"

            "And, um." Jaehyun gestures with his hand at the back of his head. "He usually does it around here."

            "Okay," Johnny says cluelessly. "So?"

            "It... Doesn't feel right."

            Johnny looks at Jaehyun's troubled face for a while. Jaehyun's younger than him, has no siblings, has always been rather quiet and all that, so looking at Jaehyun like this Johnny just feels his older brother instincts kicking in. "Are you uncomfortable with it?"

            Jaehyun ponders for a while. "I... don't know."

            "But it doesn't feel right to you?" Johnny rearranges his sitting position, making himself comfortable so he can actually think. "We all usually touch each other friendly like that a lot, is this the first time you feel strange?"

            Jaehyun nods.

            "And only with Taeyong?"

            Jaehyun bites his lips, confused himself, but then nods again.

            Johnny hums. "Okay, let's see... How does he usually do it anyway?"

            Jaehyun runs his own fingers through his hair. "Just... Like this. Sometimes when we're all talking and there's something funny, and then we laugh, then he does it."

            It is the truth, because Johnny has seen it numerous times, too. He thinks sometimes he sees Jaehyun smile, but most of the time actually he sees Jaehyun freezing in place and staring at the floor. "You don't like it... Does he touch your scalp? Are you ticklish or something?"

            "Not really?" Jaehyun frowns. "Actually, hyung, I don't think that's the problem. I don't... It's not like I dislike it..."

            Johnny smirks. "Ah, so you like it, that's the problem."

            Jaehyun is silent for too long.

            Johnny looks at Jaehyun's face. It's all red. " _Eh?!_ Is it seriously the problem?!"

            "N-no, I don't think," Jaehyun stutters, looking everywhere but Johnny's eyes. "It's just that, whenever he pulls his hand back, I feel..."

            Johnny slaps his own forehead. Manager-hyung, who's driving, tries to contain his laugh, but then laughs anyway when Johnny does.

            "What? Why are you two laughing?"

            Jaehyun looks seriously clueless that Johnny almost feels bad. Almost.

            Johnny grins. "Jaehyun-ah, wanna make a bet?"

\---

            The next night, Johnny calls Taeyong to the room he shares with Jaehyun.

            "Quick, pretend to be asleep. Your head at the direction of the door, make some space between it and the edge of the bed." Johnny says, pushing Jaehyun down his own bed.

            "Huh, what? Why?"

            "Shh, he's coming. Do as I say."

            Jaehyun lays down as Johnny says. _Is it some kind of prank?_ He wants to ask, but right then Taeyong enters the room. Jaehyun closes his eyes abruptly, his phone still on his hand.

            "What is it, Johnny-ah?"

            That was Taeyong's voice.

            "Hey, Taeyongie. Sit down first, I'm just gonna show you something."

            Johnny's voice sounds like it wasn't coming from his bed, but from the table. He's sitting on the computer chair. There's some rustling sound... Maybe Johnny's searching something inside his bag—

            A weight—something has just placed itself on Jaehyun's bed, on the space he made between his head and the edge of the bed.

            "Okay, but it better be something important."

            Taeyong's voice came from the direction of the weight. That—that means Taeyong just sat there. But Johnny isn't on his bed... Johnny's bed is empty but Taeyong sits there, beside his head. Jaehyun wonders what it means.

            "Oh, is that how we are now? You won't talk to me if it's not important? Thought we're friends," Johnny says, mock-hurt. The rustling sound goes on, until finally Johnny says, "catch."

            "Ah, hey—!" Taeyong's weight moves quickly as he, presumably, catches the thing Johnny threw. It's kinda hard to guess what's going on with eyes closed. "Sheesh, what are you doing, what if it hits Jaehyun?"

            Johnny laughs. "You'll catch it no matter what."

            Jaehyun tries not to give a reaction.

            "Well, yeah, but..." Taeyong's weight returns to its place. "Huh, why are you throwing your iphone at me?"

            "Look what's in it."

            "It's locked. I don't know your password."

            "123456."

            Taeyong laughs and shifts a little. "You're telling me your phone's password?"

            "Yeah."

            "Judging by how easy it seems, it's a temporary password you just set up...?"

            Johnny laughs. "Of course."

            "Yeah, of course," Taeyong mutters, then becomes silent for a while. "Johnny-ah, why are you showing me an online shopping page for earphones?"

            "Huh? Wasn't it something else... Ah by the way look at the last one on the page! It's just so cool."

            Taeyong's weight shifts a little closer to Jaehyun's head. Johnny sees Taeyong place his right hand there, holding the phone with his left hand, and has to hold back a snicker. Jaehyun doesn't know it yet. "What, bluetooth earphones. They drain battery."

            "Yeah but those _light up_ , Taeyong-ah. The lines on its side, they can light up and change color."

            "It's not like you can see them while you're wearing them... Besides, you'd probably lose one of them on your first day getting them."

            Johnny sighs. "True. But that's not what I was gonna show you—look for 'instruments' on the page."

            "Ngg... Where is it? Ah, I give up, find it yourself," Taeyong says, his weight shifting again. Jaehyun hears the roll of the computer chair coming closer. Johnny's probably taking the phone back.

            "Aish, grandpa," Johnny mutters, then rolls his chair back, or so Jaehyun thinks.

            The room is silent again for a while, Johnny busy with the shopping page, Jaehyun pretending to be asleep, Taeyong waiting while... Jaehyun doesn't know what Taeyong is doing, because he makes no sound and movement. Jaehyun is starting to lose sight of Johnny's plan. It's late at night, he's already closing his eyes, and he feels a little sleepy now.

            Then he hears Taeyong's hum, followed by a sweet, _sweet_ whisper closer to his ear than he thought. "Holding your phone while you sleep... Did you fall asleep while playing with your phone?"

            Jaehyun almost jumps, but holds himself back. His phone that was on his hand is taken away, then put on the bed behind his head. Jaehyun can feel Taeyong's stare.

            "The pillow is over there at your feet, what are you even doing?" Taeyong asks softly, as if he's cooing to a small child.

 _What_ , Jaehyun thinks, honestly surprised. Taeyong's voice never gets like that, _ever_ , not even to youngest NCT members. That makes Jaehyun feel—warm. Too warm.

            "He doesn't use blanket when he sleeps?" Taeyong's voice returns to normal. He's talking to Johnny, Jaehyun realizes, the stark contrast of tone makes him feel even warmer.

            "Mm, sometimes he does sometimes he doesn't, look around you," Johnny answers, then mutters to himself about not finding some drum pads on the site that he wanted to show Taeyong. Jaehyun thinks Johnny's acting deserves an award.

            "Where... Ah." Taeyong's weight twists on the bed. A few moments later, a blanket is put over Jaehyun's body. "There. Isn't it better."

            For a moment Jaehyun forgets they were silent again because of how loud his heart's beating. He doesn't know it, but Taeyong's right hand is still holding the end of the blanket that's close by Jaehyun's neck. Johnny sees it, senses that Taeyong still needs to think he has to stay there a bit longer, and decides to be a really good friend for once.

            "I was gonna show you some drum pads," Johnny says.

            Taeyong's hand lands on Jaehyun's neck, and for the first time, Jaehyun feels a little ticklish, a little like flying, and flinches a little. Taeyong stills. "Drum pads," he repeats, testing the waters by caressing Jaehyun's hair instead of his skin. "Like the one Suho-ssi has?"

            "No, like the one Dongho-nim has. You know, 8Tracer-nim. The producer we met a few weeks ago?"

            "Ah, 8Tracer-nim. His studio sure is nice... His drum pad seems wider than Suho-ssi's, did you find out its specs?" Taeyong says, touching Jaehyun's scalp firmly, in a way he hopes doesn't tickle. And it doesn't. It kind of feels like a massage to Jaehyun, which is. Good.

            "Yeah, seems it's newer generation of the same line, the same brand. They added more pads. The color of the light can also change."

            "You like color changes." Taeyong laughs. "More pads can mean more complicated use though..."

            "Yeah, but also more possibilities," Johnny beams. Jaehyun for one knows it isn't pure acting, he has actually expressed interest in composing before. "The software is also upgraded... Ah, why is the description so long. Wait... 'Beats Xtend version 3.58.2 comes with an array of updates consisting of...'" Johnny mumbles to himself.

            The room falls silent again, except now that Taeyong's much closer, Jaehyun can hear Taeyong's steady breath. Jaehyun desperately wants to know just what is Taeyong thinking, because why is he doing this? Taeyong is alternating between lightly pulling Jaehyun's hair in a combing motion and pressing his fingertips to his scalp, and it's just. _Feels so good._ Jaehyun tries his best not to make any sound, but it's just getting harder.

            "Still sleeping after all this noise, are you that tired?" Taeyong chuckles, and even that sounds so sweet, so good. "Hyung is tired too. But because there's Jaehyunnie, it becomes okay."

            Just when Jaehyun's still trying to process Taeyong's words, Taeyong pinches Jaehyun's nape lightly. Jaehyun lost it right away.

            The sound he made must have startled even Johnny, because he hears a slight roll of the computer chair. Jaehyun pretends he's still asleep. Taeyong stops, then caresses the spot he just pinched. "Sorry... Did that hurt?"

 _Did that hurt my ass,_ Jaehyun thinks, to Hell with manners. It didn't hurt but it was—it was too much. _Like being bitten_ —not that he actually knows what that feels like— _oh God, is that how it would feel like?_ Jaehyun snuggles closer to his arm to hide his face. He doesn't even want to know how much he must be blushing right now.

            "You're this tense... Must be all the dancing," Taeyong muses. Jaehyun only realizes by hiding his face he's showing more area of his nape when Taeyong decides to pinch bigger, like massaging. Sometimes his touch becomes feather-light, and Jaehyun feels like he's going to explode. "But you're okay, right? You're doing well. On the stage, in practice room, at home. Jaehyunnie, you're being _so good_."

 _Hyung what are_ _you doing,_ Jaehyun wants to scream. How is that even fair? Praising him with that kind of voice, doing all that to his neck. Jaehyun hears Taeyong's smile in his words, feels the warmth of Taeyong's fingers rushing all over his body. It's as if he's hallucinating, like lying on a warm pink cloud, which doesn't even make sense because are clouds even warm? Or pink? Or dense enough to lie on?

            "Good little Jaehyunnie. _How come you're this good?_ Like a big little kitty. Hello kitty. Hello Jaehyun," Taeyong says, then laughs softly, which warms Jaehyun's heart entirely. "If you are this good, it makes hyung want to give you a present."

 _What? What present?_ Jaehyun can feel Taeyong's breath on his cheek. _Is he really—really going to—_

            Taeyong sighs. "But... Hyung can't."

_No, no, no, why? Taeyong-hyung—_

            "Yeah, I bet you can't," Johnny says.

            Taeyong kisses Jaehyun's cheek.

            Johnny bursts into a laugh, then Taeyong's weight disappears from the bed. "You bastard," Taeyong says, his tone returning to normal, while laughing himself. Jaehyun can hear light slapping sounds, too. Probably Taeyong is hitting Johnny playfully. "Don't ever tell him about that one."

            "Nah, he'll find out by himself," Johnny says, which isn't a lie, and calls for more hits by Taeyong.

            "No he won't!"

            "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Wanna switch room for tonight?"

            Taeyong laughs and slaps Johnny the hardest before walking to the door. "You're crazy."

            "Yeah, see you tomorrow, loser," Johnny says playfully. "Oh wait. This kid, just this afternoon he said he wants to get ice cream with you. If you got time ask him before he asks you, he'll like it."

            Jaehyun never said that, but he thanks every deity that's still awake at that hour for having given the idea to Johnny.

            "Really?" Taeyong coughs. "I mean, okay. Nice. Bye."

            Jaehyun hears the sound of the door being opened and closed, and then the room is silent again. Jaehyun opens his eyes slowly. Taeyong is gone. Johnny looks like he's gonna die laughing. "Johnny-hyung..." Jaehyun says weakly, because he doesn't know what to say.

            Johnny flips the phone he's holding so the screen faces Jaehyun.

            "What the— _hyung_ _, you_ _recorded it all?!_ Looking for drum pads was an excuse?!"

            Johnny laughs like he never laughed before.

            Flustered, Jaehyun gets up and tries to take the phone from Johnny. "Johnny-hyung! Delete it now!"

            Johnny evades all of Jaehyun's attacks easily. "Hey, hey, we made a bet. This is the price you be paying me with, okay? Blackmail material. Hahahahah."

            Jaehyun pouts, feeling hot all over his face with embarassment. "...Don't... Don't ever show that to anyone..."

            "Now why would I ever do that?" Johnny smirks smugly and for the first time, Jaehyun feels like slapping that smirk off Johnny's face.

            Jaehyun walks off to his own bed, knowing there's no way to convince Johnny. "Whatever. Everyone's gonna think you're a pervert."

            "What? You're admitting you were doing perverted thing in this video, then?"

            Jaehyun throws a pillow at Johnny.

\---


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading & leaving nice comments! This time, I make up names of dance instructor and manager. I hope it's understandable.

\---

            Their days afterwards are filled with crazy practice routine. As routine as it is, and as happy as they are with their soon-to-be comeback, it's still tiring as Hell. Not to mention that their new choreography takes a lot more for them to learn than their previous one.

            "Woah, Winwin-ah!"

            Jaehyun turns his head to see Winwin stumbling and narrowly misses a hit on the face by Taeil's arm. Taeil breaks out of the dance immediately to check on Winwin. "Sorry Winwin-ah, I didn't hit you right?"

            "Ah, no, sorry hyung, I was wrong..." Winwin smiles weakly. The others break out of the dance as well. "I always step to the right side but my position should be on the left side..."

            "Oh... That's okay, your position change in this part is quite tricky after all," Taeyong says reassuringly.

            "It's okay Winwin-ah, we love you," Yuta singsongs, hugging Winwin tight, despite sweating and all.

            "You mean _you_ love Winwin," Johnny says unamusedly.

            "Yeah, I do." Yuta makes a kissy face, trying to get closer to Winwin. Winwin laughs and pushes him away.

            Mark glances at the speakers still blazing their new song. "No one is rewinding the music? Shouldn't we start over this part?"

            "Ah... I'm really tired though," Haechan says, already lying on the floor, trying to catch his breath. He looks like he can go to sleep right away.

            "Yeah, Youngmin-hyung, 5 minutes rest please," Doyoung pleads to their dance instructor.

            "Alright, alright, you've worked hard. 5 minutes rest for you boys." Youngmin walks to the computer connected to the speakers and turns the music off. The boys give out their tired 'yeah's.

            Doyoung's face lights up immediately. He crawls from his last position to lie beside Haechan. "Yay! Haechaniii."

            "Hyung," Haechan says, then high-fives Doyoung. Mark, who goes to lie on his stomach nearby, asks for a high-five too. Haechan slaps his hand away jokingly. "Nah, you don't get high-five, you didn't ask for rest."

            "Ah! You little." Mark laughs and hits Haechan's arm playfully.

            "Some drinks would be nice," Taeil muses as he sits down with the others.

            "Yeah. Jaehyun-ah, go get some drinks," Johnny says.

            "Me?" Jaehyun asks incredulously. Johnny smirks, takes his phone out of his bag and pokes Taeil as if he's going to show something on his phone. Jaehyun grabs Johnny's arm quickly, shoving Johnny's phone back in his bag. "Ah, Johnny-hyung! Okay I'm getting some drinks!"

            Johnny laughs and pats Jaehyun's back before Jaehyun runs out of the practice room. "Nice."

            "I'll help out," Taeyong says, standing up and follows Jaehyun out of the room.

            The whistle that can be heard afterwards is definitely Johnny's.

            Taeyong only rolls his eyes. He walks to a discussion room beside the dance practice room which also functions as a pantry. Jaehyun is taking out water bottles from the fridge when he arrives. "Hey," Taeyong says.

            Jaehyun looks up, sees Taeyong's smile, and smiles right back. "Hyung."

            "Give me some of those, I'll bring them to the practice room," Taeyong says, extending his arms.

            "Yeah, thanks." Jaehyun hands him a few of the bottles without seeing. One slips out of his hand. "Whoops—"

            Both Taeyong and Jaehyun scramble to catch the bottle. Jaehyun catches it first, then Taeyong's fingers enclose Jaehyuns' in a delayed response. Jaehyun's head snaps up instinctively, his eyes searching for Taeyongs', trying to read them. "Wah, slippery," Taeyong mumbles. "Must be because it's cold..."

            _Huh...?_ There's nothing to be read _._ Either Taeyong doesn't mind, or he doesn't care about their fingers touching.

            Jaehyun stares vacantly at the fridge. Distantly, he remembers what happened when he pretended to be asleep. Where did that time's Taeyong go? Today's Taeyong was no different than everyday Taeyong—easy-going, unbothered. Like he doesn't think about it anymore. Does he really not think about it anymore? Jaehyun has no idea. Now that he thinks about it, Taeyong didn't know he was awake, possibly has no idea what Jaehyun thinks of Taeyong. Now that Jaehyun knows what Taeyong thinks of him, how can he make Taeyong know what he thinks of him?

_Wait_. Jaehyun frowns to himself. _What do I think of Taeyong-hyung, anyway?_

            "Jaehyun-ah, let's go," Taeyong says, walking ahead of Jaehyun.

            "Oh, right." Jaehyun stands up, holding the rest of the bottles in his arms. He walks behind Taeyong, who after only a few steps, stops and stares at the storage lockers on their lower right side. "Hyung?"

            Taeyong grins. "Usually they keep snacks in these lockers."

            Jaehyun laughs. "Hyung, we can't eat snacks at night."

            "Ah... We just danced more than 7 hours, how are we supposed to not be hungry? Besides, we still have more dancing to go." Taeyong puts the bottles he's carrying on top of the counter. He tries to open one of the storage lockers. "Ah! Locked."

            "That one's usually locked, try the one on its left," Jaehyun suggests.

            "What, I thought you said we can't eat snacks at night." Taeyong laughs and tries the other locker, this time succeeding easily. "Woah."

            "Woah, barbeque potato chips. No, the seaweed flavor one. Ah, no no hyung that one, the strawberry wafers," Jaehyun says excitedly.

            The door opens suddenly. Mark jumps in with a bright smile when he sees what's in the locker. "Woah! Hyungaa."

            "Shh, guys, you'll attract too many people." Taeyong smiles, ruffling Mark's hair. "Which one, Mark?"

            "Chocolate chip biscuits!"

            "Kiss me first," Taeyong says absentmindedly, even as he takes the snack Mark asked for. Jaehyun freezes, then remembers that Mark's... Mark. Everyone's little baby brother. In the past, sometimes Mark kissed their cheeks. Sometimes they kissed Mark's cheeks. Sometimes, these days, Taeyong, and Doyoung actually, still tries to kiss Mark's cheeks. Nothing weird.

            Mark hisses in response. "Oh my God, no."

            "Yah, Mark, I asked you to fetch them quickly, but you..." Haechan trails off as he walks in on Taeyong opening the chocolate biscuit package. "Biscuits!" He skips in and sits in front of them with legs properly folded underneath. "Taeyong-hyung, aaa..."

            Taeyong laughs, then puts one biscuit in Haechan's mouth. Mark tries to take another biscuit from the package directly, but Taeyong pulls it away from him. "No, no. Mark, say aaa..."

            "No!"

            "Yes."

            Mark sighs before giving in. Taeyong feeds him the biscuit happily. "Isn't that better," Taeyong singsongs. He glances at Jaehyun, almost feeds him the biscuit on his hand, but then offers the package at him instead.

            Jaehyun hesitates. Strangely, suddenly it dawns on him that Taeyong kissing the maknae line isn't a secluded phenomenon at all, that Jaehyun himself, though doesn't have the look of it, is also within the maknae line. Jaehyun doesn't know what conclusion to draw out of it, so he sighs and stands up, still holding the water bottles in his arms. "Nah, come on, we have to get back. I'll eat some in the practice room."

            Taeyong smiles his usual smile. "Okay."

\---

            That goes on for the days afterwards, their routine starting to suffocate Jaehyun a little more than to excite him, until Jaehyun can't take it anymore and goes to ask Johnny again one night on the way home from another NCT Night Night episode.

            "Johnny-hyung," he starts, with no intention of finishing.

            Johnny looks at Jaehyun's face, puts together his expression, the tone he spoke with, and the deja vu in the air. The guess comes to his mind easily. _But_ , he thinks, _that's no fun_ , so Johnny asks him instead. "What is it?"

            Jaehyun sighs. "Nothing."

            "Yeah, I bet."

            Jaehyun glares at him. "I'm not making any more bets."

            Johnny grins. "Yeah, because I always win, right?"

            "Whatever, hyung."

            Johnny laughs and pokes Jaehyun's arm. "Hey, come on. What's wrong?"

            Jaehyun stares hard at the front passenger seat. "I don't see... I don't see why afterwards... They don't add up."

           Johnny looks at the coffee cups they left in the van's cup holder before starting that night's NCT Night Night. There's still a little bit of coffee left in his. With the vagueness of Jaehyun's sentence, he feels like gulping down that leftover coffee to make it easier for his head to think. "Alright, firstly, what is this 'afterwards' coming after, secondly, who or what is 'they', why don't they add up. What are they trying to add up."

            Jaehyun frowns cluelessly. "Hyung, I don't understand."

            Johnny smiles. "Well, you gotta imagine how much I even understood of what you said."

            "It's just, it's just..." Jaehyun sighs again. "Taeyong-hyung..."

            Their manager snorts from the driver's seat in an attempt of aborting a laugh.

            "Seungwan-hyung, don't laugh," Johnny says while grinning, himself. "Jaehyun-ah, continue."

            Jaehyun glances at the side. "He doesn't... After that... After the bet you made, nothing happens anymore."

            Johnny can think of like twelve, no, fifteen, different ways to approach this. He settles with what could be easiest for Jaehyun, because, well, it's Jaehyun. "Have you thought of what you possibly wanted to happen?"

            "I," he starts, then stops immediately, frowning. "...What?"

            Johnny smiles. "It's okay, it might take a while. I don't need you to go to details, I just need you to acknowledge it, because only then you can do something about it.  What do you think you want from Taeyong?"

            Jaehyun tilts his head. "What do I want from Taeyong-hyung...?"

            Johnny sighs exasperatedly. For a kid who's this good-looking, who's supposedly among the smartest when he was at school, Jaehyun sure's giving him a lot of headache over an awfully simple matter. "I'll give you an easier question. What did Taeyong do?"

            "Um... Play with my hair a little, say things that doesn't make sense."

            _That_ _'s_ _not what your expression that time said_ , Johnny wants to say, but holds himself back. "...Then?"

            Jaehyun gapes a few times before answering. "Um, on my cheek... He... He kissed me there."

            "Yeah, and how does that make you feel?"

            Jaehyun's blank expression makes Johnny both pity him and want to smack him a little. Johnny shakes his head. Yes-no questions should be easiest, right? "Alright, answer quickly: do you dislike it?"

            "No."

            "Do you wish he'd do it again?"

            "Yes," Jaehyun blurts out, and then, _then_ it dawns on him. "Oh my god." He frowns, his face a mess of wide struck eyes and skin ridiculously red up to his ears. He looks like he's never been this confused and flustered before. " _Oh my god_ _,_ what...?"

            Johnny smirks, now that they're on the right track, and eggs him on, "in other words, you want...?"

            "I... want more..." Jaehyun mumbles, then realizes what he just said when Seungwan swears and barks out a laugh. "W-what?! Wait, no!"

            Johnny doesn't bother holding back his laugh anymore. "Holy shit, Seungwan-hyung, if Taeyong heard that one just now," he wheezes, slapping Seungwan's shoulder wildly.

            "You should've recorded it, sell it to Taeyong or something," Seungwan manages to say in between fits of laugh.

            Jaehyun's eyes widen even more in shock. "Wh—Johnny-hyung, you didn't record anything again did you?!"

            "Ah... Unfortunately, no," Johnny laments, coming down from his laughter. "Where were we again... Oh, right, you want more."

            Jaehyun almost chokes on embarassment. How great has he become to be able to choke on an abstract thought, he muses, feeling like he's losing more of his dignity with every word he says. "Please don't say it like that."

            Johnny pays no heed. "You want more, but he did nothing, is the problem you're trying to say, right?"

            Jaehyun tries to coolly shrug. Seungwan snorts out another broken laugh.

            "Look, Jaehyun-ah, what I'm trying to say is, if you want something to happen, you gotta make it happen," Johnny says, trying to be as gentle as he can. "Right now, he doesn't know what you think of him, but you know what he did right?"

            "He—he also sometimes kisses Mark's cheeks, though," Jaehyun manages to say, albeit weakly.

            Johnny stares at Jaehyun in disbelief. "Dang, you gotta be kidding me if you're trying to tell me that's on the same level of what he did to you."

            Jaehyun goes silent. True... Even if Taeyong kisses Mark, that doesn't explain all the things he said to him that time. Or the way he caresses his hair. Jaehyun blushes as he remembers it in different light now.

            Johnny smiles. "Try something that could, I don't know, take it outta him little by little. Taeyong is just Taeyong... You know what I mean, right? If there's something he worries about he'd hide it perfectly. But the moment he believes he's onto something, he won't be able to hide anything anymore." Johnny frowns at his own choice of words. Dang, he really should have drunk that coffee. Or not, cause he really needs some sleep right now. "Anyway, too long didn't read, just try something."

            Jaehyun takes a moment to digest Johnny's words. It kind of makes sense. But— "Try something? What thing?"

            Johnny shrugs. "Who knows? That's your homework."

            Jaehyun falls into silence as he wonders what he should do next.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this chapter. Confused Jaehyun is best Jaehyun, lol. Jaehyun-ah fighting~ Next chapter coming up ^^


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and leaving nice comments! ^^ I should probably also add that this is meant to be set somewhere while NCT127 was preparing for 'Cherry Bomb' comeback, so I'll be mentioning songs in that album and choreographies on the songs.

\---

            Living in a dorm means having to put up with the specific antics of the people you live with. Jaehyun has accepted it round and fair, that's why he doesn't mind when Johnny wakes them up with Britney Spears's 'Toxic' as his alarm lately. He also understands how in the mornings of workdays, Haechan and Mark make a lot of fuss and noise, leaving dirty clothes or dishes in weird places, because, well, school. Sometimes he hears jamming of guitar, sometimes someone sings or raps by the hallway, sometimes someone shouts when they lost a game. While at first that's a big change from his relatively quieter house, he's used to it by now.

            This morning, however, is a complete chaos.

            First Jaehyun wakes up to Doyoung practicing his parts on 'Sun and Moon' in the living room, with some damp towels hung around the furniture around him (to keep the humidity good for his voice, or so he says). Not long after Taeil comes in and joins him, both practicing their parts in order, leaving out Jaehyun's and Yuta's parts to silence. Jaehyun finishes his chocolate drink quickly and joins them. A few minutes later Yuta joins in as well, doing funny adlibs without much care to his voice, his recording having been done the day before.

            The chaos starts when Winwin comes in. Yuta starts to sing with exaggerated expression at him, greedy for some reaction. When none was given he sings different songs, pokes him in the beat of whatever song comes to his mind, even shakes his shoulders a little, until Winwin can't hold it back and starts to sing some random song in Chinese with all his might.

            Jaehyun laughs at them, then sees Mark coming in bringing a small note with scribbles of Korean and English. He goes to quietly rap in the corner. As quiet as rap can be, the English attracts Johnny, who somehow manages to give melody to the English parts of Mark's rap and sings them as background voice, which earns some hits on the arm by Mark.

            Somewhere in the middle of it all Haechan comes in to randomly sit back to back with Mark and provides the high notes for Johnny's melody. Seeing a frustrated Mark, Yuta joins in bothering him as well, until Doyoung and Taeil try to stop them.

            Taeyong comes out of his room at last.

            "What the Hell is even going on," he says, his expression dumbstruck.

            Winwin replies by singing a few lines of another Chinese song at him. Jaehyun laughs and gives him a high-five.

            "Winwin-ah, I don't understand that much Chinese," Taeyong says helplessly. "Jaehyun-ah, what did he say?"

            "I don't know," Jaehyun answers proudly, then breaks into another laughter.

            "What the Hell?" Taeyong asks, but actually almost laughs himself just because he sees Winwin and Jaehyun laughing.

            "We're practicing for recording," Yuta says, then sings a random Japanese song to Mark's face.

            "Ah, hyung! I'm practicing! You're all bothering me," Mark sulks and tries to get away from Haechan's weight on his back. "Haechani, you recorded yesterday, what are you doing? Go eat some pudding or something."

            Haechan lies back further on Mark's back and raps Mark's rap in 'Dunk Shoot'. Mark sighs loudly.

            "Right, what are you doing? Your recording's done yesterday, shut up, eat some puddings," Johnny says to Yuta.

            "Your recording's also done yesterday! Where's your pudding?" Yuta laughs before he slaps Johnny's back.

            "I'm helping Mark," Johnny lies while laughing as well.

            "Then I'm helping too."

            "What kind of helping is that," Taeil remarks. "Haechan-ah, listen to Mark, go eat some puddings."

            Doyoung shakes his head dramatically. "Yeah, Yuta-hyung, don't you have some puddings to eat too?"

            "Why is everyone offering me and Yuta-hyung puddings?" Haechan asks.

            "Pudding? Do I get one too?" Winwin's ears perk up. He looks like he seriously thinks there actually are some puddings for them, Jaehyun doesn't know if he wants to play along or to turn their conversation into something that actually makes sense.

            "Winwin-ah, do you want pudding?" Yuta asks with an indulgent smile.

            "No."

            "Ah! Why are you like that," Yuta laughs and tries to hug Winwin, who although wears an expressionless face, doesn't really try to get away. "But seriously, now I kinda want some puddings."

            "Yuta-hyung, I thought you don't like sweets that much?" Doyoung asks.

            Yuta shrugs, then stands up and makes the way to the door. "Yeah, I don't know, must be Mark's magic. Winwin-ah, Haechan-ah, let's go."

            "I'm coming as well, gotta get some coffee," Johnny says, then follows the three out.

            The room is suddenly much quieter. Mark goes back to review his rap lyric, while Doyoung and Taeil resume their actual singing practice. Taeyong scratches his head. "Am I the only one who still doesn't understand what just happened?"

            Jaehyun smiles and asks absentmindedly. "Hyung, do you want pudding too?"

            Taeyong laughs. "Not this early in the morning," he says, his voice taking on a more relaxed note. "But seriously, why are they not sleeping if they don't have recording to do... Jaehyun-ah, your recording is today too right?"

            "Yeah."

            "Me too... I still can't decide about the last lines of my rap part." Taeyong looks at Mark, then at Doyoung and Taeil, then back at Jaehyun again. "Have you practiced too?"

            It could've been sleeplessness and having to wake up so early. It could also have been the way sunlight catches in Taeyong's hair, or the honest, soft, just-woke-up face of him smiling at Jaehyun that's doing the trick, but somehow Jaehyun remembers Johnny's 'just try something', and sings the opening lines of 'Summer 127' to Taeyong. " _Let go of your body to the handle baby, to the sea, to the sea, let it go._ "

            Taeyong chuckles, the timing made it almost like a part of the actual song, then sings the next lines of the song, which were his parts. He holds his gaze at Jaehyun, and Jaehyun thinks he has never felt like he want to get lost in someone's eyes as much as now. " _The waves wake me up, you feel me now, you feel me right, let it go._ "

            Then, because the part afterwards is Haechan's, they both sang in their terrible version of Haechan's high-pitched voice.

            " _Turn up the volume louder—_ "

            Taeyong breaks into a laughter first, the bright sound rings in Jaehyun's ears and makes way to his heart easily. Jaehyun laughs as well. "Hyung, why did we do that to our voices? We have to record today."

            "Oh shit, you're right," Taeyong says, trying to come down from his laughter, but then sees Jaehyun's face and lost it again.

            "What? Why are you laughing again hyung," Jaehyun says, smiling like a fool. None of it makes sense, but his favorite hyung is happy, and that makes him happy, too.

            "No, it's just that," Taeyong stops to catch his breath, his left hand somehow lands on the back of Jaehyun's head and Jaehyun thinks, _oh_. Taeyong keeps caressing his hair for a few seconds while staring at Jaehyun's eyes—Jaehyun could only stare back, firstly because _Taeyong's eyes_ , secondly because _what?_ Taeyong looks like he's going to say something, but nothing comes out and he laughs softly instead. "Nah, nothing. Get ready, we gotta go record in a few minutes."

            Taeyong messes Jaehyun's hair a little more, then goes back to his room to prepare.

            Jaehyun can't stop smiling for the whole day.

\---

            Around 7 pm another night, after the boys have gotten the hang of their new dance up to their latest-learned part, their dance instructor introduces the next part. Which happens to be the 'nanana' part, where they have to. Yeah. Do crazy shit.

            "Holy shit," Johnny, and like half of the room, whisper when they see Youngmin fall on his back as a part of the dance.

            "Do we really have to do that?" Doyoung asks in a shrill voice as Youngmin does the split dance that seems to never end. "That—woah, hyung! How is that even possible?"

            "Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to do that," Yuta laughs.

            "Try to do stretching first, boys. Your goal is to do as wide as possible but you don't actually have to split and touch the ground. It's okay, it needs a lot of practice," Youngmin says after demonstrating the dance.

            "I think the only one who's gonna do that easily would be Winwinie?" Taeil says and laughs as well.

            "Um... I can split, but that kind of dance is kind of," Winwin says and tries the splitting part of the dance. Yuta, Taeil, and Johnny sing the 'nanana' for him. Winwin sways in the middle of the dance, losing his balance, then chooses to step out of the stance. "Wah! It really needs a good balance."

           "Y'all be talking about balance, I don't even think I can split that far," Mark says in English, for some reason, and holds on to Haechan to try the split himself.

            "I don't know what you just said, but I agree," Haechan says, then tries the split as well.

            Mark laughs at Haechan. "Yah, Haechani! If you do it as well what if I fall!"

            "Go fall, who cares." Haechan lets go of Mark's hand, laughing when he sees Mark swaying, struggling to keep his balance. "You're really bad at this!"

            "You're nowhere better than I am, how can you even call that a split? Go lower!" Mark tries to hold on Haechan's arms again but Haechan keeps slapping his hands away jokingly. "Don't—yah!"

            They both fall rolling on the floor with a loud sound, limbs tangling. Mark finds himself under Haechan and tries to squirm away. "Yah, get away, you... Lazy seaweed!" He says as he tries not to curse in front of Taeyong and Doyoung (who will definitely scold him).

            Haechan laughs in a tired voice. "Yeah, I'm a lazy seaweed. Wanna sleep..."

            "Like Hell you're sleeping like this." Mark laughs and pushes Haechan away. "Ah... It's going to bruise, it hurts."

            "Mark-ah, Haechan-ah, be careful... Woah look at that!" Doyoung points at Winwin, and in a blink of eye everyone looks at Winwin's perfect split, butt meets ground like what girlgroup members do.

            "Wah, Winwinie!" Taeyong says, honestly impressed. "How did you do that?"

            Doyoung makes a funny scared face. Yuta shivers so harshly Jaehyun could almost feel it himself. Winwin smiles proudly. "I don't have any secrets though... I practiced this a lot when I was younger, so I can do this now," Winwin says, still holding the pose perfectly.

            Jaehyun studies Winwin's form, then tries to do it silently. Damn, Winwin was right, it needs good balance. "Wah—" He stumbles backward, and just when he thinks he's going to fall on his ass like a stupid person, someone catches his back.

            "Woah, careful," Taeyong says close to Jaehyun's hair.

            Jaehyun looks up and sees Taeyong's concerned face upside down. The hands on his back suddenly feel much warmer. "Taeyong-hyung!"

            "Yeah, can you quickly, my hands—" Taeyong half grins, half makes a contorted face.

            Jaehyun scrambles to stand up immediately. "Right, sorry, I must be heavy."

            Taeyong flips Jaehyun by his waist so Jaehyun faces him, the way Jaehyun has probably dreamt of several times but unsure of when or how or in what context, then holds Jaehyun's hands in front of them with a wide smile. Jaehyun immediately regrets that he isn't wearing any base make-up—his face feels so warm there's no way he isn't blushing hard.

            "Hyung?"

           "That was dangerous, try that again but don't let go of my hands," Taeyong says, standing in a stable stance.

            Jaehyun blinks a few times. "Oh. Okay," Jaehyun says, then tries to split again.

            "No, no, Jaehyun-ah, that's too fast," Taeyong says as he holds Jaehyun's hands tighter. Jaehyun feels like losing his balance already. "Go slower, try to keep your balance first."

            "Oh, okay, okay," Jaehyun stammers. He really wishes he knows where to look, because at their hands? No way, that would make him feel too warm inside and he'll fall right away. Downwards, at Taeyong's legs? Like Hell he'd do that and expect everything to end well. Past their hands, at Taeyong's stomach? Also not an option, because Jaehyun would probably end up imagining how soft, how nice to lay his head on—

            "Okay, good. _Good, Jaehyun-ah,_ " Taeyong says softly, and Jaehyun is just so surprised at the words and the _tone_ that he snaps his head up to look at Taeyong's face. Which is a huge mistake, because the gentle, careful look in Taeyong's eyes and his encouraging smile freeze Jaehyun in place. Somehow, then, Taeyong looks concerned. "Are you okay?"

            "Yeah," Jaehyun answers too quickly, and he's thankful the actual answer to Taeyong's question is a yes, because he thinks he'd answer any question with a yes like that.

            "Okay, nice." Taeyong looks at Jaehyun's legs, then at Youngmin who's currently teaching Johnny and Taeil, then back at Jaehyun again. "Hmm, I think Youngmin-hyung wants us to go wider. Can you do that?"

            "Yeah, I think," Jaehyun answers in a strained voice, obviously this is asking too much from his non-elastic legs but if it means Taeyong would keep doing whatever he's doing then yeah.

            Taeyong grips on Jaehyun's hands tighter as Jaehyun tries to split wider. "Careful, careful..."

            "I had no idea this requires so much—ah, hyung." Jaehyun laughs weakly. "I'm gonna fall."

            "No you're not, I'm here," Taeyong says, the softness of his voice and the earnestness of his words short-circuits Jaehyun's brain so abruptly that Jaehyun stumbles forward. Taeyong laughs, lets go of Jaehyun's hands, which has Jaehyun panicking for a few milliseconds before Jaehyun finds his face flat on Taeyong's stomach, exactly as soft as he imagined, with Taeyong's hands on his back to keep him from falling.

            "Hyung," Jaehyun whimpers, muted by Taeyong's stomach. He feels Taeyong's shiver— _shit, it must've tickled_.

            Taeyong laughs again, the rumble spreads on Jaehyun's face through the contact. "Yah, Jaehyun-ah! Come on, stand up now, I'm not that strong."

            "Sorry, sorry," Jaehyun says as he steps out of his splitting stance and tries to stand properly.

          With his hands that are still on Jaehyun's waist, Taeyong hits Jaehyun's sides playfully. "Why did you do that? And you were doing so well."

            ...Ah. That's exactly the kind of look Jaehyun doesn't want to see from his Taeyong-hyung. Not that kind of joking pity... He wants to—he wants to impress, for real. He has to hear Taeyong say _it_ , God forbids—

            "I can do that again," Jaehyun says, too much pride added, made it sound like a taunt.

            "Ooh, really? Okay, let's see." Taeyong grins, then gives his hands for Jaehyun to hold.

            Jaehyun holds onto them, then slowly, he descends to make a split. He takes a deep breath, trying to keep his balance. Somewhere on the left side he can see Johnny and Taeil practicing the split together with Youngmin-hyung, and Jaehyun uses that as a reference of how wide he should go.

            "Yep, that's it. That's almost like Youngmin-hyung," Taeyong says excitedly. "Just, wait, can you do that without holding my hands?"

            "Yeah," Jaehyun says without thinking, then lets go of Taeyong's hands. He sways a little, but then finds his balance while looking at Winwin giving Doyoung and Yuta an example somewhere in his field of vision. Jaehyun grins. "Did I do it? Wait, I'm just gonna," he says, then tries the part of the dance where Youngmin puts his balance on one hand in front of him, closes his legs with a light jump, then stands up on full height. Jaehyun smiles widely when he succeeded, simply happy that he could get the moves. "Ohh, is that how it's done? Hyung, did I do well?"

            Something glints in Taeyong's eyes. Jaehyun realizes horrifiedly that he basically just frickin' outed himself, but then Taeyong laughs and ruffles Jaehyun's hair and suddenly nothing else matters anymore. "Yeah, Jaehyunnie, you did very well," Taeyong says sweetly, indulgently, like time has rewinded to that particular point. When Taeyong speaks again he did a near-whisper, Jaehyun has to lean closer to hear it. " _You're so good_ , did anyone ever tell you that?"

            Jaehyun feels like he's drunk, doesn't know what to say but he has to keep Taeyong talking. "Hyung, I—"

            "Okay guys, stretching's done, time for the actual dance," Youngmin says, clapping his hands to get everyone's attention.

            If Jaehyun feels bad for almost jumping at that, Taeyong actually jumps a little. He glances at the others, then grins at Jaehyun, before patting his nape lightly and goes off to listen to Youngmin. Jaehyun could only stand there in awe. _Did all that just actually happen?_

            "Dang, I should've betted something on that," Johnny mutters, suddenly beside Jaehyun.

            Jaehyun jumps at that one.

            (Johnny doesn't stop teasing him about it for the rest of the night.)

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this chapter. While writing the other NCT127 kids I just couldn't stop, they talk too much but it's so fun to me... I almost forgot this is a JaeYong fic not a general NCT127 fic, lol. Did you guys see Taeyong's frog pose picture in LA yet? It's so funny! Anyway, next chapter coming up! Thank you very much ^^


	4. Chapter 4

\---

            It's well past midnight when Jaehyun and Johnny comes back to the dorm from another NCT Night Night DJ-ing, and the first thing that greets them is a shout.

            "Don't walk in!" Taeyong shouts, then cringes at himself when he saw Jaehyun and Johnny's surprised faces. "Oh. Johnny-ah, Jaehyun-ah. Sorry, I mean the floor is wet, I just mopped it. Walk carefully."

            Jaehyun looks at Taeyong. Eyebags at the point of no helping, hot patches to help with sore muscles at every visible point of his body. There is classic music playing in low volume from a speaker. A mop, a bucket, some dusters and other cleaning equipments are around him, clear evidence of sleeplessness. He's smiling, but Jaehyun has lived with all of NCT 127 kids long enough to know each of them fairly well, and Taeyong's smile right now.... Isn't really a smile.

            Johnny beats Jaehyun's thoughts by a beat. "Hey, Tae, you okay?"

            Taeyong's smile wavers. "Yeah. What do you mean?"

            Johnny shakes his head as he tiptoes into the hallway. Johnny himself must be tired too, Jaehyun thinks, but he watches Johnny offer a fist for Taeyong to fist bump with. When he speaks, he uses his gentle voice, the one he sometimes also uses with Jaehyun when Jaehyun's having trouble. "Just. I don't know, go to sleep or something, 'kay."

            "Yeah. Thanks." Taeyong fist-bumps Johnny and nods as Johnny walks away.

            The air feels thick with tension, Jaehyun knows it, but he doesn't know what to say, so he stands in front of Taeyong in silence. Despite looking like at the edge of tears, Taeyong laughs calmly. "Jaehyun-ah, you must be tired. Wash up, then go to sleep quickly, alright?"

            "Hyung," Jaehyun manages.

            Taeyong's gaze doesn't change. "Go to sleep, Jaehyun-ah."

            Ah. That one hurts. _What are you feeling? What happened?_ Jaehyun wants to ask so bad, but Taeyong doesn't seem like he wants to share, so instead he whispers, "okay," swallows the bitter taste and goes to his room.

            He doesn't see the disappointment in Taeyong's eyes when he walks away.

\---

            "Johnny-hyung, something's—something's not right with Taeyong-hyung," Jaehyun says to Johnny as soon as it's just the two of them in their room.

            Johnny sighs. "Yeah, I know." He sits on his bed and taps his fingers on his knees for a while, willing his sleepy brain to think. He takes a look at Jaehyun's worried face. "What are you going to do now?"

            Jaehyun looks at him incredulously. What is Jaehyun going to do now? He's in no place to do anything, because Taeyong just shot him off, what can he possibly do?

            Johnny rummages on a box on a table beside his bed, takes out some things that Jaehyun knows are Jaehyun's, then puts them in Jaehyun's hands. "Do it. I believe in you."

            It would have been funny, except it wasn't. Jaehyun looks at the things in his hands with doubt. "...Is this really the time for this?"

            "I don't know, but really it's just... I think it's failproof. If he wants to open up, you both gonna have nice lil' talk over it. If he doesn't, well, you can just leave him with it, don't think anyone can hate anyone because of something like that," Johnny says like it's the easiest thing for him. Maybe it really is that easy, because Jaehyun can see the logic in it. This composed side of Johnny is admirable, Jaehyun realizes.

            Johnny smiles. "Or are you gonna just leave him alone?"

            Jaehyun winces. Even the thought hurts. "No way."

\---

            Jaehyun takes the quickest shower he could have, then makes his way to the kitchen in a way that he hopes makes as little sound as possible. Taeyong is still sitting on the sofa of the living room when he was done with his kitchen business. Jaehyun breathes with relief, then sets himself to do what little he could. He approaches Taeyong slowly.

            "Hyung," he says, or squeaks out, he's so nervous and just feels so worried he might disturb Taeyong and end what little relationship they have but he doesn't want Taeyong to sit by himself late at night with a sad face like that he thinks his heart's going to fall out of his chest right now.

            Taeyong snaps his head at him, surprise clear in his face. "Jaehyun-ah," he says, his expression rigid, but no signs of disturbed yet, Jaehyun thinks. "I thought I told you to go to sleep."

            Jaehyun ignores the slight bite of those words and offers him what he has in his hand.

            Taeyong blinks owlishly. "Ah?"

            "It's for you, hyung," Jaehyun states, because it might not have been clear.

            "Oh, for me... But you... Um." Taeyong looks at it warily. He smells the air subconsciously, peeks at the one Jaehyun saves for himself. "Ah! You're... Yours is, what is it, tea? But you're giving me hot chocolate..."

            Jaehyun smiles, sensing the lessening tension in Taeyong's voice. "Yeah, my diet doesn't allow for it right now, but yours still have quite a room, right hyung? I mean, you don't really eat much."

            Taeyong looks unsure, but then takes the mug filled with hot chocolate from Jaehyun.

            Jaehyun holds his own mug forward. "Cheers?"

            "Thanks," Taeyong murmurs instead when he clinks their mugs. His eyes widen as soon as he takes a sip. "Mm, woah, it's not Korean," he says amusedly. "I don't know foreign products enough, but this seems to be from abroad? Is it right, Jaehyun-ah?"

            "Ah, I guess? My mother and father just got back from Spain, so..."

            "Spain, woah. Cool," Taeyong says, then looks at Jaehyun who's somehow still standing. He smiles, finally a smile that feels like a real smile, and pats the seat beside him.

            Jaehyun smiles back as he sits down beside Taeyong. For a few minutes, neither of them says anything, so he drinks his tea quietly.

            "Sorry," Taeyong says finally as he puts his mug on a table beside him. "For earlier."

            "It's okay." Jaehyun glances at Taeyong. There's a look in his eyes he can't quite describe. Jaehyun takes the chance anyway. "Hyung, I..." He takes a deep breath. "I don't know if I can do this, but if you want to tell me anything, I'll listen."

            Taeyong lets out a sigh. "We're having our comeback soon," he says after thinking for a while. He doesn't meet Jaehyun's curious eyes. "Because it's me of course I'd say our new songs are good, but... I don't know. I keep thinking, what if it's not good enough, what if we're not good enough."

            Jaehyun fidgets with his mug, then puts it aside. It is indeed a concern, because their title song this time isn't really public friendly again. Since their first debut, as NCT U, or as NCT 127, they have been experimenting with a lot of style that aren't exactly what people usually like. It was always tough to go through the critics of the public.

            "Limitless has a lot melody, it's pretty easy to feel confident. But Cherry Bomb is... I do like it, of course, I've done all I can, Mark has been working hard. Everyone has worked hard on it, that's exactly why, and yet," he pauses to look at Jaehyun, then gives an apologetic smile. "Sorry... You probably shouldn't be seeing a leader like this."

            Jaehyun shakes his head a little. "Hyung, please don't be sorry for having trouble because you're human," he says without really thinking, simply because Taeyong does it a lot. "The way I see it... Our music and style isn't really like Korean idols, but because of the more international style... I think this time we'll attract more international listeners, don't you think?"

            "I hope," Taeyong says. "In the end, we still live in Korea though," he adds after a beat. "But... Ah, I don't know. I want to be confident because I really like it, but..."

            "When we're fighting for what we believe, everyone else will feel like they're going against us," Jaehyun says, and tries to give his most encouraging smile. "Hyung, it only means we're on the right way."

            Taeyong takes some time to digest the meaning of Jaehyun's words. Huh, it kind of makes sense. And was kind of cool. He raises his brows and smiles amusedly. "What? Where did all this come from? You're not Jaehyun, are you?"

            Jaehyun laughs a little. "I just... I remember my mom and my dad and it just came out... I think they said things like that a lot?"

            "Ah, I thought you were replaced by an alien or something." Taeyong laughs as well. "But being able to say things like that, when did you grow up?" Taeyong frowns. "Tall, handsome, grew up well. What am I compared to you?"

            Jaehyun's eyes widen in surprise. "Hyung, compared to me, you're the best dancer, rapper, visual, leader, and the best hyung I could ever ask for," he rasps out, to Hell with filtering his thoughts, because he can't believe Taeyong just said that. "Besides, why are we comparing us? We're not for comparing. We're in this together, we're to make up for what each other don't have, right?"

            "What?" For all that Jaehyun knows, Taeyong looks decidedly hilarious. His face goes bright suddenly, then he looks to the side, then back at Jaehyun's face again. "Jaehyun-ah, you're really... Aish, this kid, seriously I give up," he says, covering his face with his hands. When he looks at Jaehyun again he's grinning wide, his cheeks slightly flushed, a sight Jaehyun hopes he can see more in their daily life, and--opens his arms at Jaehyun. "Is there something that you want?"

            Jaehyun blinks cluelessly. "Eh?"

            "Because you're being good to me," Taeyong says in a softer tone, and Jaehyun has to pretend not to feel anything. "The hot chocolate, all this... There has to be something you want from me, right?"

            Taeyong's hands are already on either side of Jaehyun, hovering, a silent invitation. Jaehyun doesn't know what to do, didn't see it coming at all. "Hyung, there isn't..." he pauses, feeling his face warming up. "There isn't anything like that."

            Taeyong smiles slyly. "Really? Ah... I don't think you're sure."

            It is exactly the worst time for Jaehyun to look at Taeyong's chest. His eyes choose to focus on it anyway. "I'm sure," he says unsurely. _Is it soft? Is it firm? Would it feel good to be up close to?_

            Taeyong laughs. "Jaehyun-ah." Jaehyun doesn't dare look at his eyes. "Ah... Jaehyun-ah, _come on,_ look at me," he pleads, almost whines, and Jaehyun loses all his resistance. The fond smile Taeyong has melts Jaehyun right away. "Jaehyun-ah, can you come closer?"

            That was a question, Jaehyun doesn't have to do that if he can't, but he finds himself advancing forward, then suddenly Taeyong is hugging him tightly.

            "Jaehyun-ah, thank you so much. You did really well, did you know that?" Taeyong says in delight, warm against Jaehyun's ear. "Are you really, absolutely sure there isn't something you want?"

            "Y-yes," Jaehyun says, because no way he can just tell Taeyong that— _oh God, Taeyong is doing it again_. Caressing the hair on the back of Jaehyun's head again, like that time, except this time Taeyong's face is also pretty much buried in Jaehyun's neck, and Jaehyun thinks he's going crazy. "Hyung, I'm fine."

            Taeyong hums lazily, the rough undertones doing things to what's left of Jaehyun's thinking ability. "Really? Because I think I can give you anything you ask right now," he whispers, more to Jaehyun's neck than to his ear. " _With how good you've been to me tonight._ "

            Jaehyun is trying his best not to open his mouth and make some sound, but if he has to talk, how is that going to work? Taeyong's arms feels so warm, his chest so comfortable to be up close to, Taeyong sounds so happy, he doesn't think there's any more thing he could ask for. "Taeyong-hyung, I..."

            "Yes, Jaehyunnie, _anything_ , if you'd just ask, if it's not too much of a trouble," Taeyong says sweetly. "Go on, ask me."

            Just the way Taeyong speaks already makes everything feel light and bubbly. Jaehyun laughs. "Hyung, what are you saying. You're already giving me everything."

            Taeyong pulls back just enough to see Jaehyun's face. Jaehyun doesn't think he's ever seen Taeyong's face this red, this foolishly happy. "What? Jaehyunnie, where are you learning all this from?"

            "I don't know? You're the only one saying those kind of things to me," Jaehyun says, doesn't even remember the self-control he used to have, not when Taeyong looks so happy like that. He hugs Taeyong again, smiling like a fool on Taeyong's shoulder. "Taeyong-hyung."

            "Mm, Jaehyunnie." Taeyong tries to reach the top of Jaehyun's head with one of his hand and Jaehyun's waist with the other. "Aish, why are you so tall and big. This big kid, really, such a big little kitty," Taeyong coos. None of it makes sense, and Jaehyun likes it. "I still want to give you something, what should I do?"

            "Ohh, I know. Hyung, I know what I want to ask," Jaehyun says excitedly, pulling back to look at Taeyong's face.

            Taeyong smiles indulgently. "You do? Tell me, tell me."

            "Taeyong-hyung, please don't go away."

            The silence and Taeyong's blank expression that follows makes Jaehyun panic for a while, before Taeyong finally asks cluelessly, "don't go away? You want to sleep in the living room?"

            Jaehyun breaks into a laughter. "No, I mean, hyung, don't go away, like..." _Forever? Is it too much?_ "Forever," he says anyway. "Taeyong-hyung, until now we've never broken apart, so let's go on forever until we're old."

            Taeyong chuckles. "Ooh. I thought you'd never say that to my face."

            "What?"

            "You wrote something like that in one of the picture you posted in, um, NCT 127's instagram, I think... When we were promoting Limitless, right?"

            "Ah, you saw it?"

            Taeyong hits Jaehyun's back jokingly. "What are you saying? Of course I saw it! You thought I'm not in NCT?"

            "No, I mean, I just didn't think you'd read it," Jaehyun says like it makes sense. He frowns to himself. "But yeah, why did I even think you wouldn't see it?"

            Taeyong laughs, can't take it anymore, and hugs Jaehyun closer. "What's even wrong with you. What would I do to you now," Taeyong says, his words muffled by Jaehyun's hair. The softness of it makes him press closer, not quite a kiss, but so much like one. "What you asked is so funny... Jaehyunnie, of course I'm not going anywhere."

            Jaehyun closes his eyes, willing his mind to memorize everything, from Taeyong's words to his soft caresses to the way Taeyong’s lips move on his skin when he speaks. "You really won't?"

            "Of course." Taeyong smiles against Jaehyun's hair. "Because Jaehyunnie is being good, and Jaehyunnie asked for it from me."

            Jaehyun sighs satisfiedly and rests his head on Taeyong's shoulder. It was just the perfect thing to end a day with. A yawn finds its way to Jaehyun somehow. "Hyung, I'm getting sleepy."

            "I'd offer you to sleep like this, but it's impossible." Taeyong chuckles, ruffles the back of Jaehyun's head for the last time before letting him go. "Go to sleep, okay? I'll also go to sleep right away."

            "Yeah." Jaehyun holds onto Taeyong's arm for a while. "Good night, Taeyong-hyung."

            "Good night, Jaehyunnie."

             They both fall asleep with a good dream that night, though neither can remember when they wake up the next morning.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this chapter. Thank you for nice comments and waiting, I hope it's still enjoyable? Yesterday was Taeyong's birthday! Yay happy birthday Taeyong. ^^ Next chapter coming up ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for still keeping up with this fic and leaving nice comments! I appreciate every one of them.
> 
> Sorry for not updating for long, I just started a work trip in a place with bad internet connection. It will last for about 8-9 weeks. I also posted this with my phone, there might be some formatting errors. I hope it's understandable.

\---

It's unusually quiet when Jaehyun comes to the living room that particular morning.

       He mentally reviews the whereabouts of the other NCT 127 members. At this hour, Mark and Haechan are probably on the way to school. Doyoung, Yuta, Winwin, Taeil, and Taeyong are in Japan, filming for NCT Life Osaka. Johnny is still sleeping.

 _That explains the quietness, then_ , Jaehyun thinks. They have an NCT Night Night pre-recording later at noon. He still has a few hours left until then.

       He changes his clothes into something more unnoticeable and decides to go out.

\---

       Jaehyun opens his mask a bit and takes a big breath as soon as he's outside. The air feels fresh after the rain last night. On the sidewalks, the sunlight hugs his skin and warms him up.

       He smiles. _It's going to be a good day,_ he thinks to himself, because belief is the first step at making things come true.

       He strolls along the street, looking around him as he walks. The shops by the street are just beginning to open. A few junior high-schoolers jokes with each other while waiting for the bus, their laugh making the morning feel alive.

       Jaehyun hears the sound of water flowing. The freshness attracts him, so he follows it and finds a small park with a fountain. Jaehyun smiles at what he sees on one of the seats. There's a mother feeding a toddler porridge or something, the way morning sunlight peeks through the canopy of the trees behind them makes it look like a scenery of a sweet story.

       Suddenly he remembers something important. _Right, I should have left a message to Johnny-hyung, he'll be confused when he wakes up,_ Jaehyun thinks, pulling out his phone. _Johnny-hyung I'm just walking around the street. I'll be back quickly,_ he types and sends the message.

       He scrolls down his chatting app. The group chat of his high school class is full with congratulation message to a friend who's accepted to a musical show. The 97 liners were just talking about some computer games in their group chat last night. In the NCT assemble group chat, Yuta sent a picture.

       Jaehyun looks at the picture. Winwin and Taeil are standing under a row of cherry blossom trees with petals falling down around them. That's so typical, and yet, so beautiful. Ten sent a picture of himself by a sunny poolside with his family in Thailand. Haechan replied with a _jealous ㅜㅜ_ , while Jeno sent a studying-while-crying sticker. Doyoung tells them to sleep well and go to school the next day. Taeyong sent a sticker of a thumbs up.

 _His profile picture's changed,_ Jaehyun notices and opens Taeyong's profile. Taeyong's holding a white puppy and showing it to the camera happily.

       That's what he highlights from the trip to Japan? So random. _And so Taeyong-hyung-like_ , he thinks, smiling.

       He opens the private chat room between them. Their last chat message was a week and a half ago, about some schedule or so. They don't really chat privately, since they live together and have an NCT 127 group chat.

       He stares at his phone screen for a while. There's a weird urge tickling him to type something and send it to Taeyong.

        _Good morning hyung_ , he types. He stops there, not knowing what to add next. What should he type next? _How are you?_ Ugh, that's so basic. _What are you doing?_ It sounds really weird. _Are you eating well?_ No way, that sounds too sudden. Should he just send a picture? But of what, the park? There's no point. Of himself? That's narcissistic.

       After a while, he realizes he has nothing to say, so he deletes everything he typed, closes the app and walks back to the dorm.

\---

       It's at noon, in the waiting room of the radio station, while reading the script, that he can't stop thinking about it anymore and decides to just go to Hell with it.

        _Hello hyung_ , he sends. Yeah, that's it. Apparently he has lost his mind. He puts his phone back in his pocket, tries to just forget it and concentrate on the script.

       Jaehyun and Johnny finishes the pre-recording four hours later, because they had three episodes to cover and the other one hour for in-between preparations. Then they go to a noodle place to eat with Seungwan. They're back in the dorm in the evening.

       The chatroom between Taeyong and Jaehyun says 'read' just thirty minutes after Jaehyun sent the message.

       Taeyong haven't replied yet.

       The trip is a work trip after all. He could still be shooting. He could be busy with other arrangements. Or maybe he's just not around any wi-fi anymore, Jaehyun tells himself repeatedly.

       Still, Jaehyun can't shake the shame and disappointment in his heart away.

\---

       Jaehyun sighs miserably.

       "Whoa, man, that's like the fifth time already," Johnny comments from across their shared bedroom. It's the night of the same day and they actually don't have any more schedule for once. Johnny is on the computer chair, busy with his computer game. Haechan and Mark seem to be sleeping. "You got easy schedule for a day and you're sighing? How ungrateful."

       "It's all my fault," Jaehyun mumbles with his face against his pillow. "Ah... Why did I have to do that? It was so awkward. What should I—"

       Jaehyun's phone dings. An incoming chat message. He opens his phone frantically.

        _Mom: Jaehyunie_

_Mom: How are you? It's been so long~ ^^_

       Jaehyun's face turns flat. Not that he doesn't appreciate it, it's just not what he expected. He sends some kind of reply to his mom.

        _Jung Jaehyun: I'm fine mom. Did recording in radio today. How's mom and dad? :)_

       Johnny catches on to it very, very easily, having been used to the whole situation. "What did Taeyong do again?"

       Jaehyun half-throws his phone on his bed, and buries his face in the pillow again. "It's not him, it's me... I sent a chat message."

       "Ahh. What did you say?"

       " _Hello hyung_."

       Johnny frowns. "That didn't sound bad at all."

       "Yeah, but he doesn't reply," Jaehyun says dejectedly. His phone dings again. He takes it and reads the message lazily. "We never really chatted, but just this morning I sent it without thinking... I guess it was too sudden after all."

       Hearing Jaehyun's serious tone, Johnny pauses his game. He observes Jaehyun carefully. "Can I see it?"

       Jaehyun hands his phone to Johnny, who skims through Taeyong's and Jaehyun's private chatroom. Most of the past chats are about a schedule, or when looking for each other in a crowd, or other circumstantial things. They were short and practical. If Johnny didn't know better it would only look like a chat between work colleagues.

       He scrolls back down. At the end of it was Jaehyun's innocent ' _hello hyung_ ', left on 'read' about seven hours ago. Johnny cringes. Even he feels uneasy at that.

       "Jaehyun-ah, I'm gonna be frank, I also have no idea how to turn all this around," Johnny says gently, watching for Jaehyun's expression. "The only thing that I know is that if you add something more to the chat right now, it would seem too much... You get the idea, right?"

       Jaehyun doesn't answer. He looks like he understands it perfectly, yet he doesn't want to accept it.

       "But you know, if I were you I wouldn't think so far over chat messages. Maybe he waited for you to chat with what you wanted to say, but you never did, so he doesn't reply. But he doesn't have to necessarily think about it in a bad way." Johnny smiles. "You two were good before he left, right?"

       "Yeah," Jaehyun says, albeit with little soul. The memory of him and Taeyong in the living room, that night with a cup of tea and hot chocolate, seems so distant.

       "Then I guess it shouldn't matter that much. You and he are not in bad terms." _But maybe also nowhere closer to the terms that Jaehyun wants without knowing clearly,_ Johnny thinks flatly. He doesn't say it out loud. "He'll be back in a day, don't worry."

Jaehyun stays silent. He doesn't know what to think.

\---

       Jaehyun tried to do the things he'd wanted, like doing his laundry, playing computer games with Johnny, watching some piano performances on Youtube. In the end, Johnny fell asleep first and in the dead night all his doubts feel clearer, so Jaehyun lays on his bed wide awake, unable to sleep.

       He dares himself to open the chatroom again. Taeyong still hasn't replied.

       He laughs, frustrated. _Hyung, it's your fault,_ he types with zero intention of sending it. He's just indulging himself in the imagery of freely being able to chat Taeyong like that. 

 ****_Are you having fun in Japan?_ Jaehyun deletes everything, then types new messages according to what random thing crosses his mind, deletes them again, over and over.

        _Osaka is known for its takoyaki, have you tasted it?_

       Delete.

       He remembers the picture Yuta sent.

        _The cherry blossom was really beautiful, though, I wish I was there._

       Delete.

       He sees the Taeyong's profile picture, the one with Taeyong holding a white puppy.

_So cute._

_The dog ㅋㅋㅋ_

       Delete.

       He laughs at himself, a little more with ease now. Ah, really. It has only been a few days, but it feels so much longer. When was the last time they even talked to each other?

      _Hyung, can I call you?_

       Exactly at that moment, Jaehyun's phone dings.

      _Taeyong-hyung: hi jaehyun-ah_

       Jaehyun gasps, letting go of his phone by surprise, making it fall on his nose. What? Did he read it or was it just his imagination? He quickly takes his phone again and looks at the chatroom more carefully.

      _Taeyong-hyung: sorry just finished everything_

_Taeyong-hyung: what did you want to talk about?_

       "Oh my god," he says out loud, then remembers Johnny's sleeping, so he tries to keep it down. He rereads Taeyong's replies a few times, smile starting to form on his lips. Finally... Wait. There's something at the latest part of the chatroom—

        _Jung Jaehyun: Hyung, can I call you?_

       "Oh my god, _no_ ," Jaehyun hisses in horror. He didn't remember ever sending it, so how? Did it get sent when his phone fell on his face? It must have. He scowls at himself. _Great, whatever, now it's just going to be even more awkward._ He feels his face hot with shame, eyes starting to water. It's all his fault. It's just—

       His phone dings again.

        _Taeyong-hyung: yeah_

       "What?!"

       Johnny stirs in his sleep. Jaehyun bites his lips, trying not to be too loud again. A hundred different emotions are running in his mind, he doesn't even know anymore. Taeyong said 'yeah.' That makes Jaehyun happy, but why? How? And even if Jaehyun calls him, what is he going to talk about? Did Taeyong mistake it for something very important?

        _Taeyong-hyung: jaehyun-ah are you still there?_

_Taeyong-hyung: ok i'll call you instead_

       Jaehyun's eyes widen in surprise. "Wait, what?!"

       His phone rings. 'Taeyong-hyung is calling'.

       "Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god—"

       Johnny opens his blanket forcefully. His face looks sleep-ridden. "What's with all that 'oh my god'. Can't you watch your porn somewhere else?"

       Flustered, Jaehyun gapes a few times before answering. "Johnny-hyung! It's not that! This is—" He looks at his ringing phone in panic. If he doesn't answer quickly, Taeyong might just hang up. "Damn, whatever," he says, then rushes off.

       Johnny's laugh was heard as Jaehyun runs out of the room. "Yeah I know, good luck Jaehyun-ah!"

       Jaehyun opens the door to the balcony and steps out hurriedly. It's in the middle of the night, it's freezing cold, but he really has no time to think he simply pressed 'answer' and holds the phone to his ear.

       "Hello?"

        _Taeyong-hyung's voice_ , he thinks. His heart is beating so quickly already. That doesn't make sense, he's heard Taeyong's voice most days of the past few years. He takes a deep breath before answering. "Hello, Taeyong-hyung."

       "Jaehyun-ah! Thought you fell asleep or something," Taeyong says. Though tired, he sounds bright. "It's like almost 1 AM... Over there is 1 AM too right? There's no hour difference?"

       "Yeah, it's around 1 AM too," Jaehyun answers, thankful that his own voice didn't shake or something despite how nervous he feels.

       "You're not sleeping?"

       "No, I... I'm just not sleepy yet."

       "Oh, right."

       Neither of them says anything for a while. Taeyong's probably waiting for what Jaehyun supposedly wanted to say since the morning. Jaehyun shifts around anxiously, trying to look for anything he can say. "Um, hyung, what are you doing?" He cringes. He might as well just slap himself, that'd hurt less. "I mean you're not sleeping yet, too."

       "Ah, we just finished shooting. We're already back in the hotel now... Taeil-hyung is sleeping," Taeyong says through the line.

       Jaehyun smiles with relief. "Yeah? Where did you shoot today?"

       "The riverside, Yuta sent a photo right? There were a lot of cherry blossom trees by the river. We walked along and took photos. The river is just filled with fallen petals, pink everywhere, it was amazing," Taeyong says excitedly. "We've been to Japan together when we were rookies, right? But this was the first time I saw cherry blossom in bloom. Have you ever seen it before?"

       "Yeah, I have. With my dad and my mom, we ate in a park under the cherry blossom trees."

       "Ah, we did that too! Because it's not quite vacation season yet and the crew did arrangements, there weren't many people but I heard it's usually crowded... When did you go there by the way?"

       "Umm... When I was in junior high school, I think? It was vacation season and it was too crowded to enjoy it though." Jaehyun rests his arm on the railing and looks around him. The sky is clear, stars visible; the city asleep. The phone call feels even more private this way. "Where else did you go to?"

       "A haunted house, oh my god." There's a dramatic sigh coming from the line, which makes Jaehyun smile. "We did shooting in the haunted house. They made me go in with Yuta."

       Jaehyun can't not ask this. "Just the two of you?"

       "Yeah, and he keeps on leaving me behind! That bastard." Taeyong laughs quietly. Jaehyun presses his ear to his phone closer. "I was... Ah, I don't want to say I'm scared, it's just that the ghost actors and machines keep on surprising me, so I ran away but Yuta didn't find me quickly."

       Jaehyun laughs at that. "Hyung, you said he left you, then you said you ran away, so which one's the truth?"

       "Ah? I did?" Taeyong laughs again, the sound making Jaehyun close his eyes and imagine lollipops and ice cream cakes and everything sweet. It doesn't make sense. "The truth is... The truth is I'm not scared."

       "Ooh, really?"

       "Yeah, I'm not scared at all. Even if we went together, I won't hold your hand."

       "Eh?" Jaehyun blinks a few times, taken aback. What was that about? No one's talking about them going together. Why did Taeyong suddenly talk about holding hands? "You won't, hyung?"

       "Nope," Taeyong says firmly. He giggles after a while, which confuses and delights Jaehyun at the same time. "Ah, but if it'd stop you from being scared, I'll do that."

       "Ah, would you?" Jaehyun smiles subconsciously. He imagines it before he can stop himself: him and Taeyong, walking on the darkened path of a haunted house, hands in their own pockets. Something suddenly appears by their side. Jaehyun would probably be stunned and stay anchored at his place, but Taeyong, ever so quick on reactions, would probably reach for Jaehyun's hand and take him running as he screams. Jaehyun would want to walk faster, get closer— "Hyung, I really am not going to be scared, though."

       "Really?"

       For some reason, Taeyong said it in a babying tone. Jaehyun can't help but imitate it while grinning. "Really."

       "Really, really not going to be scared?"

       "Really, really not go- _o-ing to be—_ " Jaehyun pauses, shivering from the air that suddenly gets cold. "scared."

       "Huh, what was that? Are you cold?"

       "I, yeah, but it's oka- _ay_ ," Jaehyun answers, his voice wavering again. "It's just the wind."

       "Wind?" Taeyong's voice becomes full of concern. "Where are you actually?"

       "Oh, I'm on the balcony..."

       " _Balcony?!_ At this hour? Why?"

       "Um... It's okay, hyung, it's just that Johnny-hyung is sleeping... If I was in our room he might wake up, so I thought—"

       "What kind of answer is that?" There's a sound—it sounds like Taeyong is clicking his tongue. "Go to my room. Get on my bed."

       Jaehyun almost chokes. " _I'm sorry?_ " 

       "Jaehyun-ah, I don't want you to be sick. Go rest in my room, no one's there, you won't wake up anyone."

       Oh. That's unnecessary. Jaehyun can actually just have the call in the living room or even in the kitchen, but he also doesn't want to sound like he doesn't like what Taeyong suggested. "Uh, but I..."

       "Jaehyun-ah, _come on_ ," Taeyong pleads, and Jaehyun has to try hard not to stutter.

       "Okay, okay, I'm going." He enters the dorm quickly to find Taeyong's room which he usually shares with Taeil. The chill in his bone is replaced by warmth as soon as he's inside. "I'm, I'm already in your room now, hyung."

       "Okay," Taeyong says, seemingly relieved. " _Jaehyun-ah, you should rest on my bed now._ "

 ****That's obviously not the kind of words Jaehyun had ever imagined Taeyong saying to him, not as softly as that, not in the dead night, through crackling phone line, and Jaehyun's starting to feel dizzy. "Hyung," Jaehyun warns, his voice coming out a little hoarse.

       "Ah... You're already about to catch a cold." Taeyong sighs. Jaehyun pretends like he doesn't like hearing the way it sounds. "Lay on my bed, will you?"

       Jaehyun thinks it's a stupid question, because _damn, of course_. He climbs on Taeyong's bed and lays on it. If Jaehyun turns his head just a little to the pillow he's using right now he can, just, smell Taeyong's scent. He tries not to do it. "Okay, I'm already on your bed."

       " _Good_ ," Taeyong says softly, and Jaehyun feels stupid for flinching at that already. "There should be my blanket near your feet. Wear it, it might help with your cold."

       "Yes, hyung." He puts his phone by the pillow's side, reaches for the blanket in question, and pulls it over himself. The motion gushes the air around him, making him drown in Taeyong's sweet, _sweet_ scent; he gives no shit anymore and inhales deeply.

       Taeyong chuckles. He might have heard it, Jaehyun realizes, feeling hot all over his face. "Are you already wearing it? Is it warm enough?"

       Jaehyun sighs weakly as an answer. He doesn't have to identify it one by one, but he thinks there has to be musk. A dash of vanilla. A little bit of spice, not cinnamon, what's it called again? There's a very light floral note, could it be rose...

       "Okay, good then." Taeyong huffs. "You have to take care of yourself well. Rest when you have time, eat well."

       Jaehyun smiles like a fool. Taeyong sounded so sweet, so attentive. _What kind of conversation is this_ , he muses. They are just talking about random things and laughing together, but it makes Jaehyun feel really warm and happy. He snuggles Taeyong's blanket closer. "Taeyong-hyung, what are you saying? You're the one on a trip, have you even eaten yet?"

       "Oh? I'm actually eating right now."

       "Really? What are you having?"

       "Guess."

       Jaehyun laughs. "How?"

       "Listen, listen first. It's like the radio game, you know," Taeyong says with a background of rustling sound. A while after, there's a sound of—of taking a bite, it doesn't sound crisp, it has to be a soft thing. Taeyong seems to chew it, he speaks with his mouth filled. "I'll give you a hint: it's sweet."

       "Bread," Jaehyun shoots.

       "Whoa! Yeah, yeah, what kind?"

       Jaehyun laughs again. "Ah, hyung, that far is impossible."

       Taeyong laughs as well. "You can guess it! Come on, it has, it has this," Taeyong says, then Jaehyun hears something really weird, like—something fluid, something gel-like, being poked or scooped, and then—Taeyong seems to be— _licking something_ —

 ****"Taeyong-hyung, what," Jaehyun stammers.

       Taeyong swallows it, whatever it is, then sighs like he really, _really_ likes it. Jaehyun closes his eyes instinctively. When Taeyong speaks it sounds like a playful taunt. "Mm, what's this? That's what I'm asking you."

       "It—it doesn't make sense," Jaehyun manages, flustered. _What the Hell is Taeyong even doing?_

       "Hm? Why wouldn't it? I'll tell you more, wait." Jaehyun hears the rustle of what could have been the bread's package, then Taeyong, Jaehyun wouldn't know for sure but he might be licking it again, the—glaze? The glaze or the filling of the bread. It sounds _wet_ , the gel-like consistency against Taeyong's tongue; when Taeyong's done he pulls off with a popping sound of his lips and Jaehyun thinks all of his linguistic ability's gone. "It's sweet," Taeyong says, then laughs, because it doesn't really describe it well. "It's... Ah, if I tell you its color you'll know it right away."

       Jaehyun swallows hard. His face is burning. "Jam?"

       "Nope," Taeyong says easily, like he doesn't know the mess he just turned Jaehyun into. " _Thicker_."

        _Shit_ , Jaehyun swears in his head, thankful he didn't say it out loud. "Um... Custard?" Jaehyun frowns, amazed that he actually still has a little bit of cognitive ability after all. "Custard filled bread, what is it called. Cream... Cream pan?"

       There's a sound of hands clapping from the line. "Yay! That's the answer!" Taeyong laughs heartily. "Japanese cream pan. I really like it, you know."

       Jaehyun lets out the breath he didn't know he was holding. He laughs at himself. For some reason, it was tiring. "Hyung, you're making me feel really..." He pauses, not knowing the word. He finds another instead. "Jealous."

       "Ah! You can't eat this? Is it because of the diet?"

       "Yeah."

       "Oh. Too bad... They make you cut off a lot, don't they? Is it because of the sugar content..." Taeyong pauses for a while. "If we find a way to cut the amount of sugar... If we do it is it possible for you to eat it?"

       Jaehyun laughs. "I don't know? How do we do that anyway."

       They both fall silent. Taeyong takes the chance to eat his custard bread while thinking. Somehow, Jaehyun is already halfway to a dream filled with desserts.

       "Jaehyun-ah, are you still there?"

       "Yeah, hyung, I'm—" Jaehyun yawns. "—still here."

       "You're already sleepy, aren't you?" Taeyong laughs softly. When he talks again, he sounds hopeful. "You still haven't told me what you wanted to talk about, though."

       Jaehyun freezes at that. Right, he was supposed to have something to say. What can he say now? _Just forget it?_ It sounds too cold. _Hyung I forgot already?_ Isn't it too obvious? Or should he just tell him what he wants? Wait, what does he want anyway? Why does it feel like he's got it already?

       "Jaehyun-ah?"

       "Yes, um, hyung, I..." Jaehyun stutters. The reality is starting to come to him slowly. He sent a message out of nowhere to Taeyong without even knowing his own intentions. He wished to talk to Taeyong without even knowing what to say. Now he's lying on Taeyong's bed, wearing Taeyong's blanket, breathing Taeyong's scent, listening to Taeyong's voice—he feels content, but what does that mean?

       Jaehyun was silent for too long, he's sure of that, because he hears Taeyong's sigh. But when he speaks, Jaehyun can hear the smile. "Jaehyun-ah, it's okay. If you have a problem and you want to tell me, you should, when you are ready. You remember what I said, right?" 

       The memory of them in the living room comes to Jaehyun's mind, this time, it's warm and bright, rather than distant. "What you said?"

       Taeyong hums in a mock-disappointed way, the low and teasing tones makes Jaehyun want to give him everything. "You forgot...?"

       "No, it's just..." Jaehyun bites his lips. Saying it himself sounds weird, he ends up whispering to lower his shame. "That, that if I have something to ask, I can ask you for it?"

       Taeyong chuckles. "Yes, yes, that one too, but I mean the other one," he whispers back sweetly, seeming to like that Jaehyun actually said it. " _Jaehyunnie, I'm not going anywhere._ "

       Jaehyun gasps. "You won't?" It's stupid. He's heard Taeyong say it, back at that time, but somehow, because of their distance... Because of their distance today, he became unsure. Is it the right words? Jaehyun frowns. Has it been the nagging feeling he had the whole day?

       "Yeah, I won't, so if you want to chat me with anything, even if it's unimportant, just do it, you little," Taeyong says, then laughs brightly. 

       Jaehyun blushes furiously. "Wait, so you knew?!"

       "How would I not? It's pretty obvious even from afar." Taeyong laughs again. For some reason, now it feels present, like Taeyong's lying by Jaehyun's side, looking at him with playful eyes. "You didn't know what to say so you end up asking to call me, right?"

       "I, well, yeah," Jaehyun admits and laughs at himself. What was he even being unsure for? Lately, when it comes to Taeyong, nothing makes sense. "Hyung, you always know. It's not fair."

       "And you always end up getting what you want. It's not fair for me here as well," Taeyong says, the indulgent way he says it counteracts the words. Jaehyun smiles and wonders how it even works. Taeyong sighs sweetly. "Jaehyunnie, what are you doing?"

       "Me? I'm just lying down..."

       The laugh Taeyong gives makes Jaehyun feel like his heart's dancing in the clouds. "No, I mean what are you doing to me?"

       "Ah, hyung, shouldn't I ask that?" Jaehyun can't stop smiling, there has to be something wrong. Suddenly he sees the alarm clock on the table. "Oh, hyung, look at the time..." He frowns. "That's how long we've been talking? Taeyong-hyung, you should be sleeping, how would you withstand tomorrow's schedule if you don't."

       "Say that to yourself," Taeyong says jokingly. "Jaehyun-ah, go to sleep."

       "Okay. Hyung too."

       "Okay."

       They fall silent for a while, neither knows how to end a call like this.

       Taeyong laughs in the end. "Okay, okay, I'll hang up. Jaehyun-ah sleep well. Don't fall sick. If you fall sick I won't take care of you."

       Jaehyun smiles. "Yeah. Sleep well too, Taeyong-hyung."

       After the call, Jaehyun sleeps right away. When he wakes up in the morning, he feels the most refreshed he's been in a while.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this chapter! Next chapter coming up ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for still reading and leaving nice comments on this fic! You're what keeps me writing, really.
> 
> Also... what I write tend to make little sense but probably this is the one with the least sense. Sorry? Lol.

\---

      Life continues as always for NCT kids. In the morning, usually they all have their own schedules. At noon, usually up until late at night, the NCT 127 kids practice the dance to Cherry Bomb and Zero Mile, with a dinner break at around 6 or 7 PM, sometimes couple hours earlier or later--they really don't have a set time. Sometimes, it's set according to when a member can get leader Taeyong to request dinner time to the crews first.

      When it comes to that, it's always an interesting battle.

      "Taeyong-ah, I'm hungry," Johnny says to the point in the middle of dancing. He had tried a lot of other methods at other times but he never made it, so he kind of just doesn't bother anymore.

      "Not now," Taeyong says easily, which was followed by the other members' sighs. Youngmin smiles from the corner of the room. He usually lets the boys do whatever they want as long as they're doing their dance well.

      Yuta passes by Taeyong in their choreography and makes a finger heart at him. "Taeyong-ah, Winchicken is hungry."

      Winwin blinks innocently at them. "Me?"

      Youngmin laughs at that. Yuta whines. "Ah! Winwinie why did you say that!"

      "Please stop using Winwinie as a cover for saying whatever you want," Taeyong says flatly.

      Mark comes to the center as his rap part comes on. He raps along with the music, then changes a few of the following parts. "... _Cherry Bomb. And now_ , hyung I'm hungry!"

      Taeyong laughs, dance moves still as sharp as always. "You just had a snack few minutes ago!"

      "It wasn't me, it was Haechani!"

      "Yeah, but he also totally hand-fed you half of the popcorn package with airplane sound effects, so," Yuta says, then realizes he's not really raising the chance of Taeyong granting their request.

      Mark looks flustered. Haechan looks offended. "It wasn't just 'airplane', it was South Korea's most advanced secret ops military plane," Haechan says as firmly as he can while dancing.

      "Yah! What the Hell are you even saying?" Mark laughs and slaps Haechan's back lightly as he passes by him in the dance.

      "It had the newest DNA-sensor-based nuclear homing missile!"

      "Does that even make sense at all?!"

      "Did you eat them happily anyway?!"

      Mark screeches with a red face. Taeyong laughs and tries to pinch Mark's cheeks as they pass each other, but Mark ducks away quickly.

      Taeil raises an eyebrow. "Is nobody gonna talk on how they missed the point?"

      Doyoung passes from behind Taeyong, pokes his shoulder in the beat and makes a mock-fanchant. "N-C-T 1-2-7! Tae-yong-hyung, I'm-hung-ry!"

      "Doyoung-ah, if you want to give a massage you really better do it properly."

      "Huh? But you're the one walking away from it!"

      "Well, we're dancing."

      "But hyung, we're also hungry," Jaehyun says, trying his luck.

      "Did you come here to dance or to eat?"

      Doyoung gasps. Yuta blinks fervently. Johnny whispers, ' _oh my god_ '. Taeyong's eyes meet Jaehyun's round, wide shocked eyes in a dance part and he, actually, stops for the briefest seconds with an equally shocked face before running to resume his dance.

      "Hey, Taeyong-ah, don't stop in the middle. Focus, boys, focus," Youngmin says while clapping his hands.

      "Y-yes! Sorry, hyung, I guess we're just hungry."

      Youngmin sighs. He waits for the music to a part before a turning point, then turns off the music. "Okay, okay, go eat. Your food is in the discussion room."

      Doyoung jumps around Jaehyun. "Yay! Jaehyun-ah high five!"

      Jaehyun laughs and high-fives him.

      Taeyong looks at them in bewilderment. "Wait, what?"

      Jaehyun puts an innocent face. "You didn't mean it, right?"

      "Of course," Taeyong answers quickly. "Sorry."

      Taeyong is still searching in Jaehyun's eyes for signs of actual unease. Jaehyun laughs and pats Taeyong's shoulder lightly. "It's okay hyung, I know you're joking! Let's just eat," Jaehyun says while walking out of the practice room with Doyoung. 

      Taeyong finally laughs a little. "Yeah, yeah," he answers, shaking his head.

      The others walk out of the practice room one by one. When Taeyong thinks no one pays attention, he pulls out his phone, smiles at what he has on the screen, before putting it back in his pocket and walks out of the room.

      Unknown to him, Taeil saw it from start to end. He decides to save the information for later.

\---

      Dinner time is always the merriest for them. Or more precisely, the noisiest, because if the nine of them are usually noisy just talking by themselves, somehow, they are even noisier when they eat.

      "Winwinie, what's that?" Doyoung asks.

      "It's, uh," Winwin answers, scratching his head because he doesn't really know the name of the dish he's having.  _"Quail eggs?_ " he says in Chinese. "Yuta-hyung, what's this?"

      "Hm? Oh, that's  _quail eggs,_ with _garlic, red onion,_ and _chili,_  dunno what other spice," Yuta answers, mixing Japanese and Korean.

      "Ah! How am I supposed to know what those mean?" Doyoung takes one from Winwin's plate and eats it anyway. "Woah, it's good!"

      Quick as lightning, Winwin takes a particularly big piece of stir-fried pork from Doyoung's plate. "This is good too."

      "Yah! Is that really how much you don't want me taking your eggs? There's still the big plate of the pork!" Doyoung laughs, pointing at the whole spread of food in front of them. Winwin only laughs and continues eating.

      "But the one from Doyoung's plate is different," Johnny adds playfully, then takes a piece of meat from Doyoung's plate.

      "Johnny-hyung! Why," Doyoung whines, putting his arm around his plate. Johnny tries to pass his chopsticks through, but Doyoung slaps his attacks away skillfully. "No! Johnny-hyung no!"

      "The rice noodle is good too, why is no one trying to get them?" Taeyong asks and takes a helping of rice noodle onto his plate.

      "Beats me. Give me a little, hyung, please," Haechan says, then puts his plate forward.

      Taeyong places some of the rice noodle on Haechan's plate. "This much?"

      "Bit more."

      "Okay, like this much?"

      "More."

      Taeyong laughs. "Are you asking for the whole plate?" 

      "Hyung, don't give him at all, he's not supposed to eat that much carbs, look at his frog belly," Mark says with his mouth full.

      Haechan imitates how Mark talks with mouth full exaggeratedly. Mark laughs and kicks Haechan's foot under the table.

      "Jaehyun-ah, pass me the watermelon," Johnny says in English, for some reason.

      Jaehyun looks around the table in front of them, puzzled. "Hyung, there's no watermelon. There's only melon..."

      "...And water. Yeah, I mean pass me the melon and a glass of water," Johnny says while laughing. He whines when he sees Jaehyun roll his eyes. "Ah! Is it not funny to you? It's brilliant, man, come on!"

      "Eat this, man," Jaehyun says in English, putting a piece of ginger from the big plate of stir-fried pork onto Johnny's plate. Johnny laughs and puts it back on Jaehyun's plate, then goes to take the melon and water himself. Jaehyun passes the ginger on to Mark's plate, whose owner passes it to Taeyong's plate.

      "Yah, what's this?" Taeyong says.

      "Ginger," Jaehyun answers matter-of-fact-ly, then laughs with Mark.

      "Ah, you little kids," Taeyong mutters, but smiles as he pushes the ginger aside and continues eating.

      Meanwhile, Taeil watches everyone calmly. Because he's just naturally quiet if not spoken to, he usually makes the most observations, like how Haechan and Mark's been trying to step on each other's feet under the table. Well, that one, he thinks everyone knows too without saying anything, but this one--Taeyong's pulling out his phone again.

      The thing with observations is, none of them has to mean anything, and any two or more similar, separate things don't have to point to one conclusion, so Taeil usually just lets them be.

      And then he sees Taeyong smile at his phone again, before sighing at it. That's twice in one occassion. Taeil is intrigued.

      "Woah, you in love?" Taeil asks audibly when he sees what's in Taeyong's phone.

      Jaehyun snaps his head at them, then remembers he's not supposed to be too interested. He tries to look that way.

      "What? I'm not in love," Taeyong says, pretending to laugh. He's just so readable, Jaehyun thinks it's so new. Usually he's more reserved.

      "You're smiling at your phone."

      Jaehyun's heart beats slightly quicker. He doesn't want to jump to conclusions, but the newest event that happens between them happened to be the chat and the phone call...

      "Me? When?" Taeyong tries to look cool, but no one buys it. 

      Taeil raises an eyebrow. "Just now, and you were looking at this in the practice room too, right?"

      "Ohh, was he?" Yuta asks, then takes Taeyong's phone away quickly, letting Winwin and Taeil crowd him in so Taeyong's effort to take it back was futile. Yuta smirks. "Yah, he's been looking at this!" He flips the phone so everyone can see the screen.

      Jaehyun's face turns ashen.

       _It's a girl_.

      It's a picture of a girl. Black straight hair, just a little bit longer than shoulder-length. Big eyes, considerably big boobs. Bit chubby and quite pretty. In a casual mint green sweater, the background looks like a kitchen, but does it matter? _It's a girl_.

      "Woah, Taeyong-hyung, who's her? Who's her?" Haechan asks excitedly.

      "No one! Yuta-yah, give my phone back!"

      "There are a lot of pictures! Is this a blog?" Yuta evades from Taeyong's attacks easily. "Taeyong-ah, tell us first who she is, come on."

      "It's--it's just, yeah it's a blog, it's... She was a junior high school friend, now she runs a food blog. But that's all there is, give it back!"

      "Ooh. Not a celebrity, eh? She looks nice," Yuta says, still holding Taeyong's phone tightly. Doyoung, Mark, and Haechan crowds in to get a better look.

      Jaehyun looks at Johnny, hoping for an explanation or just a speck of light. Johnny only stares back at Jaehyun, seemingly as surprised as he is, then Jaehyun just--stands and walks out of the room when everyone's attention's definitely elsewhere.

      Taeyong sees him when he's already at the door. "Jaehyun-ah--"

      "Bathroom," Jaehyun says quietly and goes out.

      He doesn't see the horror in Taeyong's face as he left.

\---

      Jaehyun walks out of the practice room and goes to the emergency stairs by instinct. He said to the others he's going to the bathroom, so he can't go to any bathrooms unless he wants to be found.

      He walks one floor above. It's the office part but it has a balcony park of sorts, probably designed as nice place to think for the team staffs or whomever needs to be creative. _The park and the night sky will calm me down_ , he thinks.

      But when he's in front of the emergency stair door, he hesitates. If he walks out, the SM office staffs will see. Though it isn't weird for the artists to be in that part of the building, if it's this late and he's alone without schedule, it would still make them question.

      In the end, he walks down to ground level and goes to the dimly lit parking lot behind the building. The sky is clearly visible from there. Looking upwards, he takes a deep breath, trying to right himself. His mind is a mess, but one thing is clear:

_It's a girl._

      Taeyong did say she was just a junior high school friend who now owns a food blog. Maybe she recommends places to eat, maybe Taeyong tried some places she recommends and liked them, so he reads her blog in his free time.

      ' _You're smiling at your phone,'_  Taeil said.

      And? Maybe she wrote something funny. Maybe he can relate to her stories, usually food bloggers write stories of their experiences in the eating places.

      But it's a  _girl._

      Jaehyun smiles cynically. Of course. A man has to be with a girl. A good girl who has soft skin, small hands, pretty red lips. Boobs of any size, that he doesn't have. Curves to hold, bone structure, urogenital tract, neurohormonal system, whatsoever.

      Contrary to what he shows to Johnny, he isn't that dense. He knows what he feels for Taeyong, knows what he wants. It's just that he is scared, so he asks Johnny, so that Johnny will say it first, so Jaehyun isn't so scared anymore and can repeat it to himself afterwards. He isn't lying to Johnny, he just needs support, and Johnny understands it, that's why Johnny plays along.

      Taeyong is older than him, he must have had more experiences. When Taeyong's with Jaehyun, all those words and acts--they couldn't possibly have been a first time, could they? Besides, what does he and Taeyong even have? They never said they liked each other in  _that_  kind of way. The furthest Jaehyun did was ask him not to go away, which could have ten thousand different interpretations. Because he can't possibly say _it._  Because he isn't a girl.

      Because he can do better, he can compete and win against any kind of man if he has to.

      But he can't possibly win against _a girl_.

      Jaehyun stands solemnly for a while, singing a random childhood song in his head while remembering the times with his family to calm himself down.

\---

      Johnny stares at Taeyong sourly after Jaehyun went out.

      Taeyong panics and rambles on. "It--listen, I wasn't, I'm telling you-- _have I ever lied to you--"_

      Johnny's eyes narrow at that. "Do I need to listen to that or does that kid need to listen to that?"

      "How--what am I supposed to do then?"

      "Find him, you ass!"

      Taeyong clicks his tongue and rushes off.

\---

      Taeyong runs on the hallway outside the practice room before realizing he doesn't know where to go.  _Bathroom_ , Jaehyun said, so he couldn't possibly be there. But it could have been a trick, saying where he would go so people would think he isn't there when he actually is, so Taeyong runs to check every bathrooms in the levels they frequently go to. He can't find Jaehyun.  _Okay, where else?_

      He remembers the chat they had after the call, which has continued intermittently up until that point. Jaehyun told him he went to a park in the morning when he started messaging him, and he liked it. There's a balcony park on one of the office levels.

      He takes the lift, pacing impatiently inside. When he arrives he runs straight to the park, eyes searching, ignoring the stares of the staffs. Jaehyun still isn't there.

      _A place to see the sky,_  Taeyong guesses with much difficulty.  _He mentions sunlight and blue sky a lot, the fresh air--so maybe stars--if it's not too far-fetched, a quiet, open place to see the sky--_

      Taeyong runs to the parking lot behind the building, searches around the cars hurriedly, and finds the boy he was looking for.

\---

      Jaehyun hears him before he even sees him, the footfall familiar enough to be recognized. When he arrives Jaehyun does not meet his eyes.

      Taeyong fidgets around. "Jaehyun-ah."

      Jaehyun would have answered, but he doesn't trust himself not to cry as soon as he talks, so he stays quiet.

      There's no sound from Taeyong for a while. Then suddenly he makes a loud frustrated noise, the surprise making Jaehyun look at him. "Listen--listen first, I'm stupid but listen first," Taeyong says, voice wavering, face looks so  _hurt_  Jaehyun doesn't even understand. Taeyong shows him the screen of his phone. Jaehyun sees  _the girl_. "She was a junior high school friend. She runs a food blog, I read it from time to time, but I've never personally contacted her--"

      Jaehyun's eyes twitch. Taeyong is trying to defend himself so bad, it's absurd. "Hyung, you don't have to explain if--"

      "--I wasn't looking at  _her,_  I was looking at  _this_ ," Taeyong says, scrolling down a little, then Jaehyun sees her hands holding a plate, on the plate--round white bread rolls with custard filling.

      Jaehyun frowns. " _What?"_

      Taeyong scrolls further down, showing a recipe for custard bread. "Her blog is like, eating place recommendations and recipes, and I remembered--when we, when I called you from Osaka, you said you wanted to eat custard bread, but your diet can't make it, so I thought if I--if I make it with less sugar and butter somehow..." 

      "What?"

      Jaehyun stares hard at Taeyong. What part of that makes sense? That's so absurd, that shouldn't have needed this much drama. It's like a joke. _Is it a joke?_

      A car passes by, the light of its lamps fall on them for a while, and only  _then_  Jaehyun sees Taeyong's face clearly. His eyes were big and vulnerable, his brows taut, his cheeks red, his lips trembling,  _is he actually about to cry?_  It couldn't be a joke then, but what--why the randomness--

      "Hyung, you don't have to do it, I can just buy some," is what comes out of Jaehyun's mouth, because he's just so relieved it wasn't the girl but also very confused at what's going on.

      Taeyong looks like he'd rather have the ground swallow him alive. "Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry, I thought--I wanted to do something for you--wanted you to eat something that I make--" He winces at what he said, shifts around uncomfortably, then holds a frustrated stare at Jaehyun's eyes for a few seconds before turning his head down. "I don't know what I did. I don't know what to say."

      Jaehyun lost himself in Taeyong's eyes within the flickering moment where their eyes met, and  _then_  it all makes sense to him.

      Taeyong is also unable to say it.

      It was never about the bread or anything, it was that Taeyong was thinking of doing something for Jaehyun--Taeyong was smiling at his phone because he was thinking of Jaehyun, Jaehyun realizes now. It makes him feel so happy he wants to-- _why is Taeyong-hyung having his head down like that? His fringe is covering his face,_  Jaehyun thinks.

      Jaehyun raises a hand and carefully tucks a part of Taeyong's unstyled fringe behind his ear. Taeyong raises his head at the touch. Jaehyun feels a pang in his heart as he sees Taeyong's defeated expression.

      "Are you still angry," Taeyong asks meekly.

      "I never was angry at you. You have the full right to do anything you want, without considering me, because I don't own you," Jaehyun says carefully, and it's the truth. He doesn't own Taeyong. He thinks Taeyong can own him and his everything if Taeyong wants to, but he doesn't say it. "I was upset at myself because I'm not a girl."

      Taeyong's eyes widen in shock, fully understanding the weight of that statement. "Jaehyun-ah,  _neither am I."_

      "Yeah, I know, hyung." Jaehyun glances down at Taeyong's hands. "No girl can have hands like that."

      Taeyong makes an ' _eung?'_  sound, raising his hands at the level of his stomach to see what's wrong with them. Swiftly, Jaehyun holds them with both of his hands. Taeyong gasps, then laughs despite himself. "What? What are you doing?"

      Jaehyun smiles, tracing the veins on Taeyong's wrists with his thumbs. "I'm saying I've never seen any girl with hands like yours," he says. "Never seen a man with hands like yours, either, hyung," he adds after a beat, hoping to get the idea across.  _I've never seen anyone quite like you._

      "Ah, really?" Taeyong says happily, swinging their hands together because he's flustered. He frowns after a while. "Your hands are so cold, though," he says, turning Jaehyun's right hand around so it's on top of his left hand instead. He examines it up close before looking at Jaehyun's eyes with--something like hope, like asking for permission.

      Jaehyun tilts his head, giving Taeyong a questioning look.

      Taeyong kisses the back of Jaehyun's hand quickly.

      Jaehyun yelps at that. "What?" He asks surprisedly, not really believing it just happened. Taeyong only looks at him with a similarly surprised look, like he also didn't really think before doing it. Jaehyun giggles at that. "Taeyong-hyung, what? Why suddenly...?"

      "Because your hands are cold," Taeyong says, then giggles as well. There's no logic to that, but Jaehyun's smile just now is something Taeyong wants to keep inside the pocket of his ripped jeans, so. "Did I warm it up well?"

      Jaehyun pretends to think for a while. "Um... I don't really know. We're still holding hands, can't you tell, hyung?"

      Taeyong hums, caressing Jaehyun's hand with his thumb. He sighs and shakes his head. "It's not good, it's still so cold." Taeyong kisses the back of Jaehyun's hand again, pressing his lips a bit longer this time. He pulls back with a cute kissy sound that makes Jaehyun want to squeal. "Is it warm now?"

      "Yeah, hyung," Jaehyun says, smiling contently. 

      But this time it's Taeyong who pretends to think about it. "Ah? Really? I'm not so sure... Isn't it better to be safe?"

      Taeyong kisses Jaehyun's knuckles, moves down to kiss the base of Jaehyun's fingers, then follows the path to the tip of Jaehyun's fingers. It's so absurd, Jaehyun is starting to feel all light and bubbly, so he lets it out with a laugh. "Hyung, what are you doing?"

      "Making sure." Taeyong chuckles, then switches to Jaehyun's left hand, showering it with little kisses the same way he did with Jaehyun's right hand.

      "Ah, Taeyong-hyung. Ah really, hyung, what are you doing," Jaehyun says, but takes Taeyong's kisses with a foolish smile anyway.

      Taeyong peeks at Jaehyun's face, bright even under dim light, flushed up to his little ears, cheeks round and soft. He kind of wants to bite them. Can he bite them? "Your cheeks look like bread," Taeyong says absentmindedly.

      Jaehyun blinks a few times for a while before pouting. "Ah, hyung, what are you saying. What's with you and breads lately?"

      "I don't know?" Taeyong laughs. Jaehyun's pout makes him want to bite his cheeks even more, he kisses the back of Jaehyun's fingers again so he doesn't do that. "I said I want to bake bread for you but I've never actually successfully baked bread by myself... Have you?"

      "Um... My mom bakes from time to time, sometimes I help her, but doing it by myself? I don't think I've ever done that," Jaehyun says. "Should we just do it together?"

      Just the thought is enough to make Taeyong smile helplessly.  _Like a date_ , he thinks. "Should we?"

      "Yeah, let's do it together when we have day off," Jaehyun answers, smiling back. Taeyong looks much better now that he's smiling, there isn't anything Jaehyun wants to see more than that.

      "Mm. Promise me," Taeyong says playfully, giving the back of Jaehyun's fingers an open-mouthed kiss out of happiness.

      Jaehyun inhales sharply. "Hyung, really, what are you doing," he says, laughing brightly. "Okay. Okay, I promise."

      "Okay." Taeyong sighs contently, then kisses the base of Jaehyun's ring finger, before staring sincerely at Jaehyun's eyes.  _"I promise you too._ "

      After that, they go back to the practice room and continue the dance practice. The others can sense something in the air, but they don't mind, because their leader and their big little brother is happy.

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this chapter! Someone's got a fixation, lol. Next chapter coming up :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I don't know if people still wait for this or not but sorry anyway for taking too long to update. The situation with my job trip was really pressuring... And a close relative of mine has just passed away... So I needed some time. Anyway, I never wanted to leave this hanging so I'll be updating. Please enjoy ^^;

\---

      In the end, they never found a day off to make the bread. They opt for a half-day off instead, waking up early in the morning because they have no idea how long it would take for them to make it, and because if it's early morning the others would still be asleep. Unfortunately, Taeyong made a mistake and linked his phone's alarm to the speaker in the living room, so now everyone is awake and fully intent on helping them.

      Yeah, 'helping'.

      "...2 and 1/2 cups of bread flour. Haechani, get those bad lil' cups," Mark says, holding Taeyong's phone hostage because it has the recipe.

      Haechan looks around the kitchen lazily, having been forcibly woken up from his sleep. "Cup? Which cup? A cup, B cup, C cup?"

      Mark hits Haechan's back. " _Hey!_ It's too early in the morning!"

      "Heyyy.... Mark-hyung, what are you thinking of? I'm just listing the ABCs, the alphabets," Haechan says with a smirk, then proceeds to sing the ABC song.

      Mark is about to yell with a red face when Taeyong hands him the measuring cups and a big bowl for mixing. "Mark-ah, it's measuring cup. Here, measure the flour and put it in the bowl."

      "I know that, hyung! It's Haechani, he always..." Mark trails off as he takes the required amount of flour and puts it in the bowl. He ends up dropping the last half cup.

      Taeyong gasps as he looks at the mess on the floor. "Ah! Mark-ah..."

      "Ah... Sorry, hyung... Yah, Haechani, clean it up!"

      "What, why me? You're the one who dropped the cup because you're too busy imagining other cups!"

      Doyoung shrieks and hits both of them on the shoulder. "Stop, stop! Early morning or not, _both_ of you are underage! Get a broom and sweep the floor!"

      Mark and Haechan give a lifeless 'yeah', then they go out of the kitchen to fetch the broom. Doyoung shakes his head as he takes their previous position. "Don't worry Taeyong-hyung, I'll help you instead."

      Taeyong makes a funny face. "That's exactly why I worry."

      "Ah! Hyung, why are you saying that?"

      "Last time in NCT Life Korean Cuisine, all you did was carrying the main cook bridal style to present the food to the head chef."

      "That's because I had other schedule!" Doyoung crosses his arms, but then grins widely. "Oh, but you're right, this kind of feels like NCT Life Korean Cuisine. Ah... How long ago was that?"

      "Keep talking like that, suits your old age," Taeyong says, laughing as he swerves away from Doyoung's playful hits.

      Winwin runs from the other end of the kitchen to hand Taeyong a small bowl while yelling in Chinese. "Taeyong-hyung, _yeast yeast yeast!"_

      Taeyong gives him a puzzled look. "What?"

      "It's the _yeast,_ Taeyong-ah, the _yeast_ ," Yuta says in Japanese. "It's so smelly. Ugh."

      "Huh, what?" Taeyong touches the bowl Winwin hands him and has to withdraw his hand quickly. "Ah! Put on the counter, it's hot... Wait, why is it hot?"

      Yuta frowns. "Didn't you tell us to pour hot water on it?"

      "Yah, I didn't say hot, I said warm! Yeast can't live in hot water, they'll die!"

      "Eh? Wait, _they're alive?_ "

      Winwin looks at Yuta horrifiedly. "Did I just kill them?"

      Yuta gasps, then puts a hand on Winwin's shoulder, looking at him with a grave expression. "Winwinie... Take a deep breath... You did it without knowing..."

      "Aish, both of you," Taeyong says, grinning. "Just go get another bowl. Don't pour the water on the yeast before the water's warm enough for you to touch, understand?"

       "Yuta-hyung, am I... Am I a murderer?"

       "Winwinie, shh, look at me, you're stronger than this. You were born in December 31st, enduring the stinging cold winds and blizzard..."

      "That's not my birthday."

      "That's not your birthday?"

      Taeyong laughs despite being frustrated. "Yah, are you two ignoring me?"

      Taeil examines the double boiler he has on the stove. "Taeyong-ah, I think the butter's done melting, where do I put it?"

      "Isn't it to be mixed with other wet ingredients? Milk and egg?" Johnny says, bringing a carton of milk and an egg to Taeil.

      "Wait, wait! If you put in the egg directly while the butter's hot, it might get cooked," Taeyong says frantically as he tries to walk past Johnny. He finds himself blocked by Johnny's back, the tiny kitchen definitely not made for nine people all cooking at once. "Johnny-ah, you're too big."

      Johnny grins. "Yeah, that's what she said."

      Doyoung screams from the other end of the kitchen. "Johnny-hyung! It's too early in the morning!"

      The next thing Jaehyun knows is that everyone's talking all at once, he doesn't even know who says what.

      "Are you saying it's okay if I talk about it at night?"

      "Would it be fine if we add cold milk to it first, then?"

      "Wait, have I put in salt? Did I put salt in twice?"

      "When's your birthday, then?"

      "You don't know _my_ birthday?"

      "Wait, don't swing the broom around like that, I might... _Ah-choo!_ Oh my god. _Ah-choo!_ "

      "Hahahahah, how could you be sneezing with just these? Wait... Ah, _ah-choo!_ "

      Taeyong lost it and yells in his leader voice. "Yah, everyone get out!"

      Doyoung, Johnny, and Jaehyun turn their heads at him with a startled face. Haechan and Mark stop mid-sneeze, something that Jaehyun would have laughed at in other circumstance because of its impossibility. Yuta and Winwin pretend they're in a paused frame of a movie, their face comical. Taeil looks at Taeyong amusedly. "I thought you were the one who needed our help, with how loud your alarm was this morning."

      Taeyong looks like he wants to say something, but then sighs defeatedly. "Yeah, right. Sorry... Can you guys just wait in the living room? I'll get some snacks and tea for you all?"

      "Now you're talking," Johnny says happily, dragging Doyoung and Taeil out because they're nearest to him.

      "I really want deep fried snack," Haechan says, sweeping the floor more carefully now. He goes out to dump the trash when he's finished.

      "Don't we all?" Yuta sighs, then walks out with Winwin and Mark.

      "Yeah, but we just ate fried chicken last night. Can't really eat fried things all the time," Taeyong says to their backs.

      It's suddenly much more quiet now that Jaehyun and Taeyong are the only ones left. The only sounds that can be heard are the faint chatter of the others outside, the steady hum of the kitchen exhaust, and the custard Jaehyun's making simmering on the stove.

      While stirring the custard, he spares a glance at Taeyong. Taeyong is pouring hot water into a teapot, the smell of freshly brewed black tea filling the whole kitchen immediately after. He goes on to take some white bread slices, and, having arranged them on a plate, he slathers them with butter.

       Jaehyun watches him closely. His familiarity with the routine tugs on Jaehyun's heart in a way he doesn't know how to explain. The soft light of the just-risen sun falls on Taeyong's figure perfectly, making the scene feel a lot calmer, almost intimate.

      Taeyong catches Jaehyun looking at him, then the corners of his lips pull up into a little smile.

      "Mm? What is it, hyung?" Jaehyun asks.

      Taeyong laughs like the morning sun; warm and bright. "What? I should be asking you that! You're smiling, that's why I smiled at you."

       "Oh? Wait, am I?" Jaehyun laughs as well, only realizing now that he is actually smiling. "I don't know, I just..." Before he could continue, the custard he has on the stove boils up, startling him a little. "Hyung, it's boiling, what should I do?"

      "Ah! I almost forgot. Let me look, can you just, hold the pan up and turn it sideways a little," Taeyong says hurriedly. Jaehyun does as he told. "Okay, good, turn off the stove, I think it's done enough."

      Jaehyun turns off the stove and examines the custard.  "You're not gonna taste it first?"

      "Yeah, but I'm kinda, these 'wiches, they gotta be done quickly, if you'd just come here and feed me," Taeyong rambles, washing the tomatoes and lettuces he just took out from the fridge, then slices them with an experienced cook's speed.

      Jaehyun stops in the middle of what he's doing, then laughs shyly. "Hyung, it's too early."

      "What?" Taeyong asks, not thinking, too busy with the vegetables. He doesn't realize what he's said until he sees Jaehyun's red cheeks. "Oh," he says dumbly. "Wait, but, why is it too early for that? I'm just asking you to feed me so I know the taste of the custard..."

      "Ah? Wait, wait. Why...?" Jaehyun laughs, because yeah, now that he thinks again about it, Taeyong's kinda saying the truth. But what can he do? The imagery of himself feeding Taeyong seems too much like a TV drama--cheesy, overdone, but makes him feel warm all over anyway. Strange, it wouldn't even gonna be the first time he does that, what with them having been friends since they were SM Rookies.   

      Taeyong grins as he arranges the sliced vegetables on the buttered bread slices. "Why, why? What are you thinking of? Something that's too early?"

      "Ah! Hyung, don't say it like that," Jaehyun says, closing his blushed cheeks and stupid smile with his hands.

      "Mm? What did I even say?" Taeyong takes some eggs and cracks them into a bowl. Compared to him, Jaehyun seems to have done nothing else after the custard's finished, it makes him skittish. "Jaehyun-ah, what are you doing? Duration, duration. Come here, feed me."

      "Taeyong-hyung," Jaehyun protests, but comes over anyway. He spoons a little of the custard and offers it in front of Taeyong's mouth. Taeyong takes it in the same time he takes in Jaehyun's expression, eyes big, expectant, shy and confident at the same time, he wants to tease him a little.

      Or a lot.

      Taeyong scrunches his nose. "How could it taste like this?"

      Jaehyun face fell right away. "Why--what? I think it tastes," Jaehyun pauses, tasting the custard himself. "Good enough. Good enough for me."

      "Exactly, how could it taste this good?"

      Jaehyun blinks once. Twice. He bursts into laughter when he realized he's being teased. "Hyung! Ah, really, your reaction," he mutters, albeit happily.

      "It's so good I almost didn't believe you made it," Taeyong says jokingly, laughing too. As he did that, he catches the sight of the neglected bowl of flour on the counter. "Ah... Is there even any time to make the bread, though..." He shifts his gaze at the eggs he cracked. "Jaehyun-ah, can you make scrambled eggs for the sandwiches? I'll handle the bread dough, how's that?"

      "Ah, alright, I'll bring them out too then," Jaehyun answers, getting to work right away.

      "Yeah. Put mayonnaise and chili sauce on them too, they'll taste better."

      "Ooh, right, that's a good idea."

      Neither of them says anything as they fall into their respective routines, the teamwork coming natural for them. After a while, Jaehyun finishes making the sandwiches and arranging tea cups on the tray, so he brings them out for the others who are waiting in the living room.

\---

      "Snack's ready," Jaehyun announces, setting the tray of sandwiches and tea on the living room's table.

      Winwin scoots over to take a sandwich. Upon seeing Jaehyun's face, he stops mid-bite, then glances at Yuta, who smirks as he pours the tea into the cups. "I'm not saying anything," he says paradoxically, answering Jaehyun's curious stare.

      "What's this, what's this?" Doyoung comes over and helps Yuta put sugar in the teacups. He snorts when he sees Jaehyun's face. "Ahh, I get it."

      Jaehyun gives them an incredulous look. "What?"

      "Woohoo, sandwiches, hey, Doyoung-ah, pass me a big one--" Johnny looks at Jaehyun, then laughs loudly. "Jesus Christ, Jaehyun-ah, the level of happiness your face is showing."

      Jaehyun is beginning to feel self-conscious. Right, his friends aren't stupid, and even if they aren't always together all the time because of different schedules, they still almost always meet every day. They're bound to notice something's off sooner or later. Jaehyun looks to the side nervously, not knowing what to reply to Johnny's words.

      Johnny regards Jaehyun with a more careful expression. Sensing Jaehyun's discomfort, he was just about to change the topic when Mark and Haechan comes running with loud footsteps.

      "Snacks! Sandwiches! Yay, thanks mom," Haechan says, voice pressed to an even higher octave, pretending to be a little kid.

      "Mom? Jaehyoonz?" Mark asks, taking one sandwich for himself. "That'd be like, you, studying."

      "Mark-hyung! I study too, you know!"

      "Yeah, for example, in your dreams." Mark examines Jaehyun from head to toe, then grins widely. "Isn't Taeyong-hyung more like the mom, and Jaehyun-hyung more like the dad?"

      Haechan laughs, poking Jaehyun's arm repeatedly. "Dad, give me money to buy snacks!"

      Jaehyun squirms around. "I'm not your dad," he tries to joke. It came out awkward.

      "How come? Didn't you remember giving birth to me?"

      Yuta laughs, almost choking on his tea. "Yah, Haechani, how can a dad give birth?"

      Haechan huffs and munches on his sandwich animatedly. "Have you ever seen seahorses? The dads give birth, you know?"

      Mark blinks surprisedly. "Huh? Really?"

      Winwin frowns. "Why are they called the dads if they give birth?"

      "Because the eggs are from the seahorse mother, but the seahorse father is the one who gives birth," Doyoung says, reading the facts he just searched with his phone. He slumps confusedly after reading it anyway. "Huh? How does that even work?"

      Haechan shrugs. "Who knows? Dad, did you give birth to me or did mom give birth to me?" He asks, snickering at Jaehyun.

      Taeil's face looks neutral, but his stare intimidates Jaehyun a little. "I feel like Jaehyun-ah is more like the mom."

      "Really? Mom, did you give birth to me or did dad give birth to me?" Mark plays along, nudging on Jaehyun's side.

      "Hyung, didn't you say he's dad?" Haechan hits Mark's arm jokingly. "Ah, wait! You're not my hyung. I was born first, right mom?"

      "Ah! No, I'm older, I was made first!" Mark says without thinking, then laughs loudly with Haechan.

      Doyoung pinches Mark's cheeks lightly. "Hey! I told you you're underage!"

      Yuta cackles. "Jaehyun-ah, did you remember which of them you and Taeyong made first?"

      Jaehyun looks at them with a mixed feeling. It's just a joke, one that sometimes they play to everyone, not just to Jaehyun and Taeyong right now. It's something that they say a lot then pass it off a lot as well. But it's--it's different now, what with the things that's happened between them. He couldn't decide whether their words carry a sarcastic, disapproving intention or not, and it's starting to disconcert him.

      "Sheesh, shut it guys, I need to eat in peace," Johnny says finally. "Jaehyun-ah, weren't you gonna make some bread or something?"

      Jaehyun lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. "Yeah, I'm just gonna go back," he says, then disappears quickly to the kitchen.

      Johnny sighs when Jaehyun's gone. Mark, Haechan, and Yuta look at each other, preparing for a lecture from him.

\---

      Taeyong has just finished pouring some frothy stuff into a bowl filled with yellowish liquid when Jaehyun comes into the kitchen. Jaehyun takes a deep breath, calming himself before approaching Taeyong.

      "What are you doing, hyung?"

      "Mm? Oh, I'm just adding yeast to this... A mixture of milk, egg, and melted butter," Taeyong answers, stirring the liquid with a big spoon. He pours another little bowl of something into it, a runny white-ish slimy thing Jaehyun can't really identify.

      "What's that?"

      " _Tangzhong_ ," Taeyong says, struggling with the pronounciation a little.

      "Tang-- _tangzhong?_ " Jaehyun repeats, testing the foreign sound on his tongue. "What's that?"

      "I don't know." Taeyong laughs while stirring. "I mean, it's water mixed with flour then heated on the stove for a bit, then it's mixed to the dough... I've never used this kind of method before, but it's in the recipe, so."

      Jaehyun hums quietly as an answer. His mind is still stuck on what happened earlier with the others, their words replaying over and over in his mind.

      "Okay, now the dry ingredients. Jaehyun-ah, pass me the bowl of flour," Taeyong says, skimming through the recipe on his phone. "The salt is already in, right? Sugar?"

      " _Yes?_ "

      "The salt is already in, so sugar..." Taeyong trails off, caught off by hearing the tone of Jaehyun's answer. There's hope somewhere in Jaehyun's face, not fully concealed behind bewilderment. Taeyong laughs after he realized it. "Ah, I mean the salt is already in, so pass me the sugar, please? I wasn't calling you sugar!"

      Jaehyun does not meet Taeyong's eyes. "I wasn't... I didn't think you were anyway."

      "Ah! Jaehyun-ah, Jaehyun-ah." Taeyong laughs even more as he sees Jaehyun's downturned lips. "Look at your face... Sorry, sorry. Should I have done it? Should I have called you sugar?"

      Jaehyun finds himself frowning at Taeyong's face. Taeyong is grinning, there's a little bit of color on his cheeks, he looks like he's the happiest he's been recently, and Jaehyun should be happy, too, but.

      _I'm not saying anything._

_Jesus Christ, Jaehyun-ah, the level of happiness your face is showing._

_Thanks, mom._

_Isn't Taeyong-hyung more like the mom, and Jaehyun-hyung more like the dad?_

      The excitement in Taeyong's face subsides little by little. Jaehyun is suddenly aware he isn't answering Taeyong's question, but Taeyong is already turning away to knead the dough, his face unreadable.

      They're silent for a few minutes. Jaehyun stares at the counter mutely. _I should have said something,_ he thinks. _I should really say something, but what?  If only there's some time, some kind of help--Johnny-hyung or someone else or..._

      Jaehyun's anxiety dies down--their silence lasted longer than he thought it would, his fear's lost its fire. He doesn't know what to think of, though, so his mind ambles around for a while.

      _Taeyong-hyung is angry,_ Jaehyun thinks. But Taeyong is very calm, quiet, not like an angry person at all. _Taeyong-hyung has had enough_ , Jaehyun realizes next, when Taeyong has finished kneading and covered the dough with a damp cloth, and is waiting for it to rise while playing with his phone. That's it, Jaehyun's difficulty in expressing himself has finally taken its toll. Taeyong might have reached the end of his patience.

       Taeyong laughs at his phone. Jaehyun peeks and finds Taeyong facing a group chat of his 95-liner friends. He doesn't really catch what they're talking about, but it doesn't really matter either--Taeyong is still not paying attention to him at all. He could as well be nonexistent. Why is he still there at all? But there's no way he'd walk out of the kitchen just like that, so he's trapped there, standing awkwardly. No way out.

      _But... I don't want to go out_ , Jaehyun thinks. He wants to talk to Taeyong, he really does--he just doesn't know how.

      Which is something that has happened too many times it even starts to tire himself. He wonders if Taeyong really has lost it, or if he hasn't, when. He'd just practically refused Taeyong's attempt to lighten things up, and if it isn't stupid what is it?

      Taeyong's phone rings. A timer, Jaehyun supposes, because Taeyong simply flicks it off and goes to check his dough. He pokes the risen dough a few times. After deciding it's enough, he begins to rip it off to smaller portions, which he flattens and puts in small cups.

     _Do something_ , Jaehyun thinks, gulping nervously. _Do something._ "Can I... Can I help you with it?"

      Taeyong raises his face to look at him. His gaze is still unreadable. "Yeah," he says, tone conveying nothing. "Here, look, cut the chilled custard in little portions, put it in the center of flattened dough, then do this." Taeyong does what he explained and folds the sides of the dough inwards to seal it up. He then arranges the bun on a lined baking tray.

      Jaehyun does as he was told. Their silence drags on.

      "...You have something on your mind," Taeyong says finally.

       It's an observation, not a question. Jaehyun needs a question to answer, so he waits. But Taeyong doesn't seem to have any more things to say and they're left with another silence, leaving the decision to break it to Jaehyun.

      "...Yes," Jaehyun dares to say, albeit weakly. It's the only thing coming out of his mouth.

      "You can tell me," Taeyong offers. "If you want."

      Jaehyun doesn't want to not answer to Taeyong and disappoint him like he did ever again, he has no choice but to say things he might regret. "Hyung, what if, the others--what if they know?"

      "What if they know about what?"

      "About us." Jaehyun bites his lips. "...About the things we can't say."

      Taeyong stops in the middle of making bread buns and looks at Jaehyun's face. Whatever he reads there, it makes him sport a calm smile when he returns his attention to his dough. "By this point, wouldn't it be weird if they don't?"

      "...Yes... But what if they don't like it?"

      "What makes you think they don't?"

      "They... They were mocking me. They were mocking us."

      Taeyong's smile goes a bit wider. "Jaehyun-ah, they weren't mocking us. They were just messing up with you because they think it's fun," he says, having heard their conversation too. "Think about it: if they really don't like it, would they have joked and tried to get you to laugh about it? I don't think so. If they really don't like it, they'd make it known--but not this way."

      Jaehyun lets Taeyong's words seep in his mind. It kind of makes sense, but. Still. Jaehyun sighs, his head hanging down. "But hyung, I... With you... If people know..."

      Taeyong puts the last bun he made on the baking tray, then turns to Jaehyun with a questioning frown. "Jaehyun-ah, if someone tells you they don't like hearing you sing, would you stop singing or would you keep singing?"

     Jaehyun looks at Taeyong like he'd grown a third eye. "I'd keep singing, of course."

      "Then you know," Taeyong says, his tone becoming softer. "Even if anyone tells me they don't like us..."

     _I still wouldn't let anyone change us,_ Taeyong doesn't say. Jaehyun hears it anyway, in his sincere smile, in the way he warms Jaehyun's heart with his gaze _._ "...Even if it's our friends?"

       "It's really unlikely, but yeah, even if it's our friends," Taeyong says. "Even if it's our enemies," he adds later, grinning because it doesn't make sense. "Even if it's you."

       Jaehyun laughs at that. "Hyung, what are you saying."

       "Ah, no, no, I won't do things you don't like... The things that you _like_ , though," Taeyong says, playfully letting Jaehyun's imagination complete the sentence.

      Jaehyun can't stop the stupid smile that's forming on his lips. "Would you do them?"

      "No," Taeyong says, then laughs loudly.

      "Ah! Taeyong-hyung," Jaehyun says as he hits Taeyong's arm with no real force.

      Taeyong only pretends to try to get away, because he knows Jaehyun's hand would be warm and pleasant. "Well, you've never told me what you like, how am I supposed to do them?"

      Jaehyun tries not to think of the things he wants Taeyong to do so early in the morning, and instead focuses on what's in front of him. "I did tell you I like custard bread."

      "Hmm... Well, you're not wrong..." Taeyong finishes brushing the bread buns with an egg wash. He counts the buns as he fits the tray into the oven. "You've put all of the bread buns here, right?"

      "Yeah."

      Taeyong frowns at Jaehyun. "Really? Aren't there two left out?"

      "Huh? Where?"

      "Here?" Taeyong asks, pointing at Jaehyun's cheeks with such a serious expression, Jaehyun doesn't even realize what he means until he sees Taeyong laughing.

      "Ah, hyung, why are you saying that. They're not breads, they... _Ahh!_ Taeyong-hyung," Jaehyun protests when he sees Taeyong laugh even more.

      "But Jaehyun-ah, just now, your cheeks," Taeyong says giddily. Jaehyun wants to keep protesting, but he really can't escape from Taeyong's beautiful, happy face, so he laughs as well, liking the change of atmosphere. Taeyong tries to come down from his laughter as he washes his hands. "Ah, sorry, sorry... Just now there really was no difference."

      "You're exaggerating," Jaehyun says, pushing Taeyong with his side and play-fights him so he could wash his hands first.

       "You should get in the oven," Taeyong says, laughing until his head tips back.

       Jaehyun gapes, then his shoulders slump down. "Hyung... I know I'm fat but really..."

       "What? Jaehyun-ah, that's not what I meant," Taeyong says, suddenly crowding Jaehyun in from the front while touching the back of Jaehyun's head with his left hand, and Jaehyun thinks, _oh, it's been a while._ "I wasn't saying you're fat, I was just thinking that your cheeks are cute."

      Jaehyun almost chokes on nothing. " _What?_ "

      "Your cheeks are cute," Taeyong repeats slowly, smiling as he cards his fingers in Jaehyun's hair.

      "Why... That's..." Jaehyun wants to either hit Taeyong's arm again or jump around because it shouldn't spawn this many butterflies in his stomach, but because neither makes sense, he pouts instead. "You're lying."

      "Why would I lie to you..." Taeyong frowns. " _Sugar?_ "

      They both burst into a laughter at that.

      "Ah, hyung, over, over! That one's too much."

      "Really? But it gets you to laugh again, right?" Taeyong smiles as he ruffles Jaehyun's hair. "Look, your dimples are showing."

      Jaehyun smiles back shyly. "Yeah? Are they?"

      Taeyong nods. "I've always wondered," he says, eyes not leaving Jaehyun's cheeks, "what it would feel like to touch your dimples."

      Jaehyun laughs, all fizz and bubbles in his heart. "Hyung, really," he mutters, but tips his cheek forward anyway.

      Taeyong raises his right hand, hesitating a little before poking the tip of his second finger on Jaehyun's dimple. He holds Jaehyun's gaze, asking with his big eyes, then rests his fingers on Jaehyun's cheek more firmly. He laughs a little. "How is it possible?"

      _He's warm, too warm, hot, burning,_ Jaehyun thinks, his heartbeat going crazy. "What?"

      " _You're so soft_ ," Taeyong whispers as he strokes Jaehyun's cheek. Jaehyun's eyes almost flutter close at the _tone_. "How come? You're even softer than I imagined."

      "You imagined," Jaehyun blurts out. Taeyong is both caressing his cheek _and_ his neck, there really is no hope for his brain to function.

      "Quite a lot," Taeyong confesses, then chuckles softly. Jaehyun wants to drown in the sound, wants to hear more. "Soft and white, like milk bread. Like a cloud, fluffy puppy, little kitty," Taeyong says, then laughs to himself. "Ah, Jaehyunnie..."

      "Hyung," Jaehyun says weakly _. Don't stop._

       Taeyong hums attentively. "Mm, what is it? _I'll give you."_

       Jaehyun lets out a small whimper, because right when Taeyong said it his fingers just decided to brush on the back of his neck exactly _there,_ _just like that_ , and. Feeling hot all over, Jaehyun turns his head down, stuttering. "Ah, I, hyung--you're always asking me this."

       "And you never answer," Taeyong says softly, tipping Jaehyun's head up to look into his eyes. "Jaehyunnie, is there really nothing that you want?"

       Jaehyun realizes, a little late, that he really is in Taeyong's full control, with both of Taeyong's warm hands now cupping the either sides of his head. There's a sense of urgency somewhere in Taeyong's eyes, like he can't, _absolutely can't_ not give Jaehyun what he wants _right_ _now_ , and--

       There's a dinging sound.

       They jump backwards in surprise, turning their heads at the general source of the sound--the oven. For a few seconds, they blink at each other dumbly.

       Taeyong laughs first. "So... It seems the breads are done? Gotta take them out," he says, walking to the oven. "Woah!"

      "Hyung, what--oh," Jaehyun says, sniffing the warm air that gushes out of the oven when Taeyong opens it. "It smells so good!"

      "Right? It's really like in a bakery!" Taeyong says happily. He puts the tray on the counter. "Woahh. Is this a success? Let's try, let's try--ah, but it's still too hot--"

      "Hyung, calm down, it's not going anywhere," Jaehyun says, holding Taeyong's elbow so he doesn't touch the breads with bare hand.

      Taeyong turns to him, jumping excitedly like a little kid Jaehyun has to grin at him. "But it looks so good! It's my first time but it's already this good..." He pokes one of the breads. After deciding it's cool enough, he takes one and offers it in front of Jaehyun's lips.

      Tentatively, Jaehyun takes a bite. His face lights up immediately afterwards.

      Taeyong laughs as he sees Jaehyun chew, his cheeks full and round and so _cute_ Taeyong wants to pinch them. "How is it? Is it good, is it good?"

      Jaehyun nods.

      Taeyong beams at him. "Yeah? Really good? Do you like it?"

      Jaehyun nods again, warm all over when he hears Taeyong's babying tone. He smiles, his dimples showing, and it's what makes Taeyong can't help but touch Jaehyun's cheek.

      "Good then," Taeyong says, his expression no less stupid than Jaehyun's. He caresses Jaehyun's cheek with the sides of his fingers, then, seeing Jaehyun blink cluelessly, he just _has_ to pinch Jaehyun's cheek. "Ah, little Jaehyunnie, really, nothing better," he coos, smiling like it's something that makes him the happiest in the world.

      "Hyung, what," Jaehyun asks, only pretending to evade from Taeyong's touches. Nothing better than what? Than Jaehyun's cheek? The ambiguity makes Jaehyun fly a little, and he clears his throat before talking. "Hyung, rather than this, you haven't tasted the bread yet."

      "Well, you haven't fed me yet."

      Jaehyun laughs giddily. "Ah! How is a hyung acting like this?"

      Taeyong makes an innocent face and Jaehyun gets really _weak_ , because his eyes-- _really, who can resist them?_   "Jaehyunnie, _come on_."

      "Yes, yes, Taeyongie-hyung," Jaehyun answers, taking a bread bun and pushes it in front of Taeyong's mouth. "Hyung, aah..."

      Taeyong grins mischievously, then bites the bread Jaehyun holds for him.

      "Don't laugh while chewing, you'll... _Ah!_ " Jaehyun yelps, then laughs because Taeyong's mouth swept by the tips of Jaehyun's fingers when he took a bite of the bread. "Hyung, don't eat my fingers."

      "Sorry, I thought they were bread." Taeyong laughs after saying it.

      "Why is everything about me like bread," Jaehyun says, can't stop smiling when he sees Taeyong's face anyway. Suddenly, he kind of understands Taeyong's feeling when he saw Jaehyun eat earlier. "Is it good?"

      "Your fingers?"

      "Hyung!" Jaehyun laughs, hitting Taeyong's arm. "The bread!"

      "Ah! Good, good," Taeyong says, his laugh warm, bubbly, making Jaehyun feel like drunk. For a few seconds, they simply look at each other's eyes, content with the atmosphere.

      "Should we bring the breads out for the others?" Jaehyun asks finally when he remembers.

      Taeyong smiles and ruffles Jaehyun's hair for the last time before going out with him. "Yeah, let's go."

\--- 

      (And if the others behaved more, they had Johnny's lectures to thank for.)

\---


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Um, so maybe by this point I have to give a warning of SUPER SLOW UPDATE? Actually I'm home from that internship job in place with no internet but now I'm preparing for a national exam. Hehe... Wish me luck everyone! Anyway, here's another chapter. ^^

\---

        The day of shooting for their new album comes. As usual, they wake up early to prepare themselves.

        Taeyong faces his own reflection in his bedroom's mirror after he put on his skin care. _Eight_ , he thinks. Eight new acnes on his chin and the lower parts of his cheeks. He isn't even counting the small ones.

        "Stop checking yourself out, a man's gotta put on base makeup too," someone says suddenly.

        Taeyong looks at the other face in the mirror. "Il-ie-hyung! It's not that. Look at my acnes..."

        Taeil shrugs as he chooses some concealers, sunscreen, and foundation from the dressing table. They don't have to do their base by themselves, but it saves time, so. "Who cares? Acnes or no acnes, at the end of the day it's still your face, right?"

        Taeyong blinks. He's so used to people complimenting his looks that it doesn't faze him anymore, but if it's his closest friends that says it, it kind of... Means a lot more.

        Taeil smiles as he goes out to find an unoccupied mirror. "Take the compliment, it'll help it come true."

       Taeyong laughs. "What? Il-ie-hyung, why are you so smooth this morning? What happened last night?"

       "Seven hours of sleep," Taeil answers from afar.

       "I only got four," Yuta complains loudly.

       Doyoung sighs. "Yeah, me too hyung, but I still got up and showered right?"    

       "Ahh. I washed my face, put beauty mask on last night..."

       "If you don't shower this morning there won't be any difference!"

       "Well if you use your honey voice to nag it also won't make difference!"

        "Yuta-hyung, take a shower or I'll, I'll..." Winwin says, seemingly hasn't thought what to say for the second half of the sentence.

        "Or what? You'll take a shower with me?"

        "No!"

        "Or I'll take a shower with you!" Doyoung says, confident that Yuta wouldn't be thrilled.

        Yuta laughs. "Okay! Doyoungie let's go!"

        " _What?!_ No!"

        In the middle of that, the intro to Baekhyun's 'Take You Home' was heard faintly behind running water. " _Ara, amureochido aneun cheokae bwado..."_ Haechan sings along in the shower.

        " _Gidarindan geol,_ " Doyoung harmonizes from outside.

        " _Aesso useo boneun nungae_ \--"

        There's a sound of door opening.

        "-- _ahh!!_ Why?! Who opened the door--" Haechan screams. "Mark-hyung, what?!"

       "Huh, what?!" Mark yells back, sounding half-asleep. "Ah, Haechani!"

       "If you want to come in just come in already but then close the door!"

       Mark laughs and closes the door quickly. "Yah, why would I want to do that? I didn't even know you're in there!"

       Yuta snorts. "Yeah, of course, we don't even hear him singing Baekhyun-hyung's song, right guys?"

        "I--Yuta-hyung! I really thought it must have been from the other bathroom!"

        "How come? He was really loud I even heard him from the other bathroom," Johnny says, coming out of the other bathroom.

        "Yeah, I even heard him from my room," Taeyong says, having finished his base and just wants to see Mark's face while being made fun of.

        "Ahh! Why are you saying that? If I wanted to come in I'd have come in already!" Mark yells frustratedly, which makes everyone laugh.

        Johnny cackles and pats Mark's head. "Do you even know what you're saying? Mark-ah, wake up."

        "Mark-hyung, if you come in I'll help you wake up by splashing water on your face, aren't you interested?" Haechan says from inside the bathroom.

        "Yeah, I can join and splash a bucket of water too, how's that?" Yuta says, towel and new clothes in hand but never getting any closer to the other bathroom.

        Doyoung pushes Yuta's back to get him moving. "Yuta-hyung, that bathroom's empty already!"

        Taeyong crosses his arms. "Yuta-ah, get in that bathroom."

        "Winwin won't get in with me!"

        "Why would I want to do that?"

        "Didn't Doyoung say he'd go with you?"

        "What?! I don't want to--"

        " _Ahhh!_ "

       Doyoung's eyes widen comically. No one in that room made that exasperated sound. "What? Who shouted?"

       "Sounds like your baby boo, Taeyong-ah, go check on him," Yuta says, snickering as he finally gets into the bathroom.

       Flustered, Taeyong pretends to not understand. "What, who?"

       Taeil laughs. " _Who?_ Are you telling him that yourself or am I telling him that for you?"

       "Ah! Il-ie-hyung!"

       "Hush, just go," Taeil says, and Taeyong goes to check on Jaehyun in the end.

\---

       Taeyong sticks his head into Jaehyun and Johnny's shared bedroom from the door. Johnny's putting skin care and base make up in front of the mirror, while Jaehyun... Looks like he just trashed his side of the room--clothes on his bed, various things on the floor, closet and drawers open.

        Taeyong approaches him slowly. "Jaehyun-ah? Is there something wrong?"

      Jaehyun turns to Taeyong. He's tidied himself up, but his face looks so troubled Taeyong feels sorry already. "Oh, Taeyong-hyung. It's just... The ring from Shinhee-noona... I still can't find it."

       "Shinhee... Ah, one of our stylists?" Taeyong asks. He vaguely remembers Jaehyun asking everyone in NCT 127 if they see the ring he borrowed from the stylists because he lost it, and telling everyone to keep it a secret... But it was a week ago. "You haven't found it?"

       "No," Jaehyun says gloomly. "Shinhee-noona asked me yesterday... I told her I borrowed it longer because I liked it. But I think she's suspicious now."

       "If it has to be returned quickly," Johnny says as he pats foundation on calmly, "can't you just buy a new one and return it?"

       Taeyong cringes. Their borrowed clothes and accessories are usually high-end and can cost a fortune.

       Jaehyun sighs. "Ah... I can do that if I want to, but it'll be a burden to my parents because it's my fault anyway..."

       Taeyong studies Jaehyun's face carefully. Knowing the cost, to be honest, everyone knows that Jaehyun (or Johnny, Ten, or Winwin) can actually afford them easily. But looking at Jaehyun like this, apparently his sense of responsibility is still there... That despite being a kid that deserves to be spoiled, he actually doesn't act so spoiled at all.

       It's kind of awesome, so Taeyong hides his smile and tries to help. "Did you remember when you last saw it?"

       Jaehyun looks at Taeyong with hopeful eyes. Taeyong wants to make all his dreams come true. "I don't remember wearing it longer than the day I borrowed it..."

        "Okay," Taeyong says, thinking. "You wore it all day? Were you still wearing it when you got home?"

        "I think so? I didn't take it off at all at the day, it has to be in this dorm, but where..." He sighs, turning around and searching in one of the drawers again.

        As he does so, something in his sweater pocket catches light and Taeyong's eyes. "Wait, what were you wearing that day again?"

       "Huh? Umm... Blue ripped jeans, a belt, an inner shirt, this sweater, white sports shoes... Why?"

       Without thinking, Taeyong reaches into Jaehyun's sweater pocket from behind.

       Jaehyun yelps, _probably because it felt just like a hug,_ Taeyong just realized after he'd done it, and then turns around in Taeyong's arms. "What--Taeyong-hyung--"

        Their eyes meet each others' with a blank expression before they both look down at what Taeyong just took from Jaehyun's sweater pocket.

       Jaehyun's mouth hangs open with disbelief.

       Taeyong grins. "Is this what you're looking for?"

       "Yeah," Jaehyun says, his lips almost forming a smile as he tries to take the ring from Taeyong's hand. Taeyong evades easily. "Ah! Hyung, why--"

       "Shh, your hand. Give me your hand," Taeyong says playfully, gesturing to Jaehyun's left hand.

       Jaehyun pouts, but gives him his hand anyway.

       "If you lost it the moment you take it off, then don't take it off except when you're going to return it," Taeyong says, putting the ring on Jaehyun's ring finger.

       "...Yes, hyung," Jaehyun answers in a low voice.

       Taeyong looks at Jaehyun's flushed cheeks, knowing that they both know what this scene looks like. _I might as well_ , Taeyong thinks and quickly kisses Jaehyun's left hand.

       Jaehyun's eyes turn really wide. " _Ah!_ Hyung," he protests, despite trying to contain his laugh afterwards.

       Taeyong laughs. "Now you won't ever lose it, right?"

        "Guys, the van's arrived-- _woah_ ," Doyoung says, suddenly by the room's door. Jaehyun and Taeyong steps back in surprise, but Doyoung already saw them. "Really? This early in the morning?"

       Johnny sighs. "I know right, Doyoungie? Right in front of my innocent eyes..."

       Doyoung side-eyes him. "Hyung, which part of your eyes are innocent?"

       Johnny laughs and goes to the door. "Yeah, yeah. Come on, let's go."

\---

       On the ride to the shooting location, somehow, they are divided in more than one vans, mixed with the staffs. Johnny and Doyoung rides on the same van with Taeyong, and. They won't shut up. Ever.

       "And then Taeyong-hyung gets on one knee," Doyoung says animatedly to Haechan and Mark, who make a chorus of _'what? Really??'_.

       "I most definitely didn't do that," Taeyong says flatly.

       Doyoung and Johnny laugh. Mark and Haechan deflate a little.

       "Aww. Thought it was the truth," Haechan says as he eats some kind of chocolate bread. He offers some to Taeyong. "Anyway, hyung, when did you two get together actually?"

       Taeyong thinks for a while as he takes a slice of the bread. "We didn't... We haven't, actually."

       Mark exclaims in surprise, breadcrumbs flying everywhere from his mouth. "Huh?! I thought you two did that time! At practice..."

       " _Shh_ ," Taeyong hushes, because it's one thing for the NCT kids to know it, but another for the staffs other than Seungwan-hyung to know it. Thankfully, the staffs seem to be busy with their own foods and shooting plans.

       Mark winces and talks in a lower voice. "Sorry, I mean that time, you know, when Taeil-hyung caught you reading a girl's blog..."

       "Yeah, I really thought you guys kissed or something when you were gone for like a year," Haechan says.       

       Taeyong laughs. "No, we haven't, but thanks for the reminder, I'm gonna work on it."

       Mark and Haechan look at each other, confused. Doyoung frowns. "You guys really haven't gotten together?" Taeyong nods. "Why?"

       "He likes it slow, I guess. I see him most days of the week anyway, right?" Taeyong says, shrugging. "And also... Because I'm gonna see him most days until the far future... I have to be careful. Of course it doesn't mean I'm being careful just because of that, but you get the idea."

       Johnny looks at Taeyong with a calculating stare. "Taeyong-ah, I just thought about this."

       "What?"

       Johnny hesitates. "This isn't like you at all."

       "Really? Why?"

       "Yeah. You're usually more... I'm not gonna say you're rash, but... You don't hold yourself back. You don't wait."

       Taeyong stays silent. He knows what Johnny's trying to say--with anyone else Taeyong would have confessed already. Date if they want, forget if they don't, that kind of thing. If he hasn't, there really are only two possibilities.

       Johnny's face turns cold. No one's gonna hurt his little brother under his watch. "Are you playing with him?"

       Taeyong gives him an incredulous stare. "What do you mean? What do I have to be playing him, anyway?"

       Haechan sighs. "Hyung, you're talking as if you're not the rookie idol who makes headlines for your unbelievable visual."

       "Well, I mean, yeah, thanks, but take that away and what am I?" Taeyong laughs mockingly. "Don't you think it's more fitting if he's the one who plays me? He's handsome, tall, from a high-status family, well-built, has a really good voice, dances really well..." Taeyong bites his lips. "Now that I think again about it, I don't even know if he's playing me or not."

       Johnny's eyebrows rise. "Huh? Wait, do you honestly believe _he_ could play you?"

       "Or play anyone at all, hyung?" Mark adds, because he doesn't know much, but he knows at least this much.

       Taeyong fidgets with his shirt. "I don't know. I mean, even if he acts shy, he isn't actually _that_ shy, is he? The way he acts... He's someone who's used to get a lot of things by being cute, right? And I'm not saying he's fake. I'm saying, that's what he's like, and I know it, damn, I like it, whatever you all gonna say."

       "Okay, _touché_ , but--" Johnny starts, only to be cut off by Taeyong's ramble again.

       "But I don't know, man, out of all these beautiful girls, Red Velvet-sunbaenim or Twice-sunbaenim or Blackpink or even IOI or SM Rookies girls or whomever--or if he wants, GOT7-sunbaenim or Vixx-sunbaenim or Seventeen-sunbaenim or Astro or Wanna One--or the sons and daughters of his father's high-status friends--why would he choose _me?_ "

      "Okay, whoa, _slow down, don't think too far_ ," Johnny says, gently patting Taeyong's shoulder. "Look, all I wanted to ask is if you're playing with him or not, because if you are, Imma kick your ass, alright? But now it's clear you aren't, and that's good. And even if what you said about him acting cute is somewhat true, Imma ask you: how much do you wanna bet that he's not worrying about the same thing as you do?"

      Taeyong looks at him unsurely. "...Why would he? He's handsome, tall, from a high-status family..."

      " _Because he likes you, damn it!_ Ahhh, what's up with you two," Johnny whines, pulling his own hair out of frustration. "Y'know what, this is why I asked you what you waiting for. If you two don't communicate better, I'm going bald. Doyoungie's going bald, Mark and Haechani's going bald, _you're going bald._ "       

       Mark hisses, touching his hair that's been bleached and re-dyed so many times for his comebacks. Thinking too hard, Taeyong touches his own hair subconsciously, too.

       "Yeah, and you know the worst part, hyung? _Jaehyunnie's going bald,_ " Doyoung threatens and Taeyong gasps, their faces so serious that Mark and Haechan giggle.

       "Doyoungie-hyung is right, you have to take him on a date quickly, hyung," Haechan says brightly.

       Taeyong massages his own forehead, feeling a headache coming. "Listen, I don't wanna make him feel like I'm on a rush..."

       "But it's also bad if you make him feel like you left him hanging, hyung!" Doyoung says fervently.

       "...Why is this so hard?"

       "Well, isn't there a saying that goes, 'we don't do it because it's easy, we do it because it's hard'?" Johnny says with confidence. He grumbles to himself afterwards. "This is turning into a motivation class."

       "Oh, but you really should do it, Johnny-hyung, you're really good at it," Mark says seriously.

       Haechan beams. "Yeah, don't sing or dance, in the middle of our song just give a motivational speech!"

       They share a good laugh as Johnny pretends to strangle Haechan, and their journey continues on with a good atmosphere.

\---

       A couple hours later, they arrive at the set, some kinda warehouse and old building in the middle of nowhere. As the staffs prepare the set and equipments, NCT 127 kids have their hair & make up done by the stylists.

       "Okay, it's done."

       Jaehyun looks at himself in the mirror, at the light brown eyeshadow that matches his hair. "Ohh, nice. Thank you, Shinhee-noona."

        "You're welcome. Oh, and I'll take this." Shinhee smiles, taking the ring that Jaehyun has just returned. She goes to Taeil's chair to do his make up next.

        Jaehyun looks around him. Some stylists are still doing Taeil's, Haechan's, and Mark's make up and hair. Johnny and Taeyong are shooting outside the warehouse. Yuta, Winwin, and Doyoung are playing around the indoor set that was left by the staffs. Jaehyun approaches them.

        "There are a lot of weird things... Ah, old TV! Winwinie, have you ever seen this?" Doyoung crouches in front of the small cubical TV.

        Winwin laughs and crouches down with him. "Of course, I'm not that much younger than you hyung. The one I used to have is a little bigger though."

        "Yeah, of course. This is just like a drum box, right?" Yuta says and suddenly sits on the TV. He makes a rhythm by slapping it. "Winwinie, rap, rap! Ay yo, come on."

         "Break it down, uh uh, NCT," Winwin says, the randomness of his rap forgiven by the swag moves of his hands.

        "Haha nice! Doyoungie, melody, go!"

        "How can I do that, there's no melodic instrument at all... And what if you break the TV hyung? Stand up!"

        Yuta scrunches his face. "Jaehyunnie, melody, go!"

        Jaehyun clears his throat. " _Apado gwaenchana..."_

        Yuta bursts into a laughter and claps loudly. Doyoung holds on to Winwin as they both laugh. Jaehyun keeps a straight face, but when he finishes the next line he ends up laughing as well.

        "Ah... Taeil-hyung's song... NCT's anthem, it's been long since I last heard it," Doyoung says, coming down from his laughter.

        "Right, what are we doing, we should sing it at least once a week, at Monday mornings." Yuta looks at his stinging hands. "Ah, my hands hurt though... And it didn't even make much sound."

        Jaehyun laughs at Yuta's hands. "Hyung, they're almost as pink as our costumes!"

        Doyoung frowns at the clothes they're wearing.  "Pink? It's black and white though?"

        "Yeah, but they also got pink ones, look." Jaehyun points to a costume spot in the warehouse where the staffs hang their change clothes.

        "Oh, it wasn't there when we were doing our make up..." Winwin blinks curiously at the rows of jackets and pants in various fuchsia hues. "Is that pink camo?"

        "Pink camo!" Yuta says, amused, then jogs over to check them out. Doyoung and Winwin tag along.

        Jaehyun stays by the TV because he's checked out the costumes. He looks around lazily. He's seen the bright yellow backdrop, the gym equipment, and... A refreshment table? That definitely wasn't there before.

        He goes over and examines the table. There are some sweet snacks and savory rice crackers. He isn't in the mood for those though, so he takes an iced latte from the drinks corner instead.

        "Oh, iced latte! Pass me one," says a familiar voice from behind Jaehyun.

         Jaehyun sips on his iced latte, takes another cup of iced latte, and turns around to pass it.

         He chokes on his drink when his eyes meet icy blue ones.

        "Eh?! Why?! Jaehyunnie calm down," Taeyong says worriedly. He takes both cups from Jaehyun's hands and quickly sets them on the table. "Shh, calm down, take a breath..."

        Jaehyun coughs, kinda really hard, because nothing could ever have prepared him for-- _Taeyong-hyung,_ with his baby pink hair, which is no news but it's styled in a messy, fringe-down way. Taeyong's eyes, with that beige-brown eyeshadow and champagne glitters, thick eyeliners, _really light blue contacts--_ honestly? Jaehyun is quite sure he's already dead. He died choking on cheap iced latte, went to Heaven, and met this little angel.

         "Are you okay? Sorry, sorry, didn't think you'd be that surprised," Taeyong says with an apologetic smile. His pink-chalked brows are taut, his lashes when he blinks, his nose really sharp, _why does his mother even let him out of the house??_

        "Thought," Jaehyun starts, then coughs again. Taeyong looks even more sorry, all that attention for Jaehyun only--and is that his hand patting Jaehyun's back? "Thought you were shooting."

        "Yeah, I finished my part, so I wanted to get refreshment, but I didn't know they have refreshments like _this._ " Taeyong grins as he strokes Jaehyun's back.

         Jaehyun makes a funny face when he realizes Taeyong's referring to _him_ , then coughs again trying to laugh.

         "Ah, ahh, sorry, made you cough again," Taeyong says, but laughs at him anyway. Okay, forget Heaven--Jaehyun died choking, went to Hell, and met this little devil. "Ah, don't cry... Your tears are going to ruin the eye make up..."

        "Taeyong-hyung," Jaehyun whines, but stays still when Taeyong stands on his tippy toes and comes closer.

        "Sorry, sorry... Because you look like this, it's not my fault if I mistook you for milk chocolate," Taeyong says, carefully wiping the tears from the corner of Jaehyun's eyes. He smiles, his eyes twinkling, and pokes Jaehyun's dimple when Jaehyun laughs. "Milk chocolate bread."

        "Hyung is saying that while looking like that," Jaehyun says in a low voice, not knowing how to put it in words. Some staffs pass around them--he feels a little self conscious and steps backwards. "Uh, how was your shooting?"

        "Went well, I played with a military aircraft figure on a table. Johnny's in the old building, have you seen him? His hair is slicked back," Taeyong says, gesturing with his hands. There's something about it that makes Jaehyun stare, but he doesn't know what.

        "Ahh, forehead acne concept..." Jaehyun says instead, laughing when Taeyong does.

        "Yeah, I don't know if it's him or the make up noona but I don't see any forehead acnes, it's amazing... Ah, speaking of noona, have you returned the ring?"

        "Yeah."

        "Okay. Nice," Taeyong says. He looks at Jaehyun's face for a while without saying anything.

        Jaehyun blinks at him. "What is it, hyung?"

        Taeyong turns his gaze down. _Next time if you want a ring, you can just ask me for it,_ he wants to joke like that, but. Somehow. He remembers what Johnny and Doyoung said, and feels like it'd be too much. "Oh right, have you seen the standing car?"

         _There's something that he hides,_ Jaehyun thinks. The mood isn't right, though, so he decides to play along. "Standing car?"

        "Yeah, the staffs painted a car white and made it stand on its rear. Like vertically!"

       Jaehyun grins, excited that his hyung is excited, even if it's about a trivial thing. "Really?"

       "Yeah! Come here, I'll show you," Taeyong says, holding Jaehyun's hand by instinct and takes him outside the warehouse.

       Jaehyun smiles as he walks with him. The warmth of Taeyong's hand is enough for now.

\---

       The day went by in a blur of footages and pictures. After the last take for that day, the kids and the staffs hurry to the vans, wanting to go home already.

        At night like this, the van that they ride is mostly quiet. Beside Seungwan who's driving, Johnny makes hushed conversation with him about politics or something. Taeil's asleep with earphones on. Doyoung eats snack silently, while Yuta plays phone game against Winwin. Mark falls asleep with a U-shaped neck pillow, Haechan arranges its position on Mark's shoulder and sleeps on it. By Jaehyun's side, Taeyong's watching the traffic with earphones on.

        Jaehyun relaxes back to his seat and looks at Taeyong. Before his mind could go anywhere, though, Taeyong catches him by the eye. "Oh? I thought you're asleep?"

        Jaehyun shakes his head lazily.

        Taeyong smiles, stars in his eyes, and his voice softens. "Not sleepy yet?"

        Jaehyun smiles back and shakes his head again. Taeyong takes off one of his earpiece and offers it to him. "Oh, piano?" Jaehyun asks when he finally wears the earpiece and hears what Taeyong's been listening.

       "It helps to relax," Taeyong answers. The shadow and glitters on his eyelids has Jaehyun staring when he blinks. "They say there's gonna be motorcycle talent tomorrow."

       "Yeah? For our MV?" Jaehyun says, surprising himself with the way he spoke. He certainly didn't mean to make his own voice sound that soft.

       "Yeah. We're gonna dance on the old building and the warehouse, the motorcycle talents are gonna drive around us or something."

       "Hmm... Sounds dangerous."

        Taeyong's brows rise, honest surprise in his eyes. "Doesn't it sound cool? You don't like it?"

        Jaehyun smiles. "It sounds cool hyung... But if it has to fit in one frame with all nine of us, we'd have to be pretty close with them right?"

       Taeyong looks around to think. "Hmm... I'll ride one of the motorcycles, then."

       Jaehyun laughs. "Hyung, you don't know how to ride a motorcycle."

       "I'll learn it tomorrow," Taeyong says with a grin. "You didn't know right? Today I bought motorcycle by online shopping. It's supposed to have arrived at our dorm by now."

       "Okay, I'll ride my 4WD car tomorrow then," Jaehyun says, playing along. Taeyong's not making sense, but he looks really happy, and that's all that matters to Jaehyun.

       "Yeah. Race at 5 AM tomorrow?"

       "What's the prize?"

       "The one who loses?" Taeyong asks back, then laughs brightly.

        Jaehyun laughs along and hits Taeyong's arm lightly. "Ah! What does that even mean? What's the difference between losing and winning then?"

       "There's a difference! Even if there isn't, I'm still not gonna lose, so prepare a box and a red ribbon." Taeyong moves his hand, but something's tugging--he laughs again when he sees it.  "Ah? Since when did we hold hands...?"

        Jaehyun smiles at their intertwined fingers, wondering about it himself. "Hyung, you haven't won yet, don't hold my hand," he says, withdrawing his hand jokingly.

        "Okay," Taeyong says, removing his hand, but ends up placing it on the back of Jaehyun's neck.

        They both burst into loud laughter before Taeyong catches sight of Johnny's sleepy, unamused look in the car's mirror. "Oh, shh, don't be too loud, the others are asleep," Taeyong whispers and intuitively brings Jaehyun closer by his neck.

        "Who's the one who made a lot of fuss... Ah, we've entered the highway?" Jaehyun presses even closer to look outside the window. The side of his arm feels warm against Taeyong's chest, but it's. Definitely not on purpose.

        "Whoops. Did you know you're not small," Taeyong says, the way he ruffles Jaehyun's hair at odds with his words. Their earphones get tugged a lot, so Taeyong takes it off, knowing neither of them are listening to the music anymore.

        Jaehyun pouts. "I'm not big, it's Taeyong-hyung who's too small."

        "Me? How am I small? Aren't you small? Little Jaehyunnie," Taeyong coos, poking Jaehyun's cheek a lot because it's pink and pluffy and right in front of his eyes.

        "Hyung, I'm trying to look at the stars," Jaehyun says, not evading at all. Taeyong's hand warms every place he touches, Jaehyun's starting to lose words.

        Taeyong touches Jaehyun's red ear when he caresses his hair. Jaehyun's so warm, so close to being on his lap, with his baby eyes looking upwards at the sky like this-- _what's wrong with me?_ Taeyong thinks, his heart racing. _I've held on fast to my heart, yet it keeps on falling._ "Yeah? You like?"

         Jaehyun nods, eyes still trained on the sky.

        Taeyong laughs weakly. _He doesn't understand the question,_ Taeyong thinks with sweet frustration and bitter relief. _Jaehyunnie, do you like?_ He wants to ask, wants to hear Jaehyun say the answer, but. Right now? Like this? Is he enough?

        But maybe Jaehyun understood the tone of Taeyong's laugh after all, because then he turns to face Taeyong with genuine worry. "Hyung, what's wrong?"

        Taeyong smiles, even as his fingers tremble behind Jaehyun's ear. _Jaehyunnie, do you like?_ "Nothing."

        Jaehyun frowns, his eyes trying to read Taeyong's face. "It doesn't sound like nothing, though..?"

        Taeyong holds Jaehyun's hand tighter. _Jaehyunnie, do you like?_ "Shh, it's really nothing."

        Jaehyun doesn't say anything for a while. He presses his cheek on Taeyong's palm instead, the softness and the warmth making Taeyong feel like his heart's going to pour over. "You told me I can tell you anything, but when it comes to yourself--"

        "You're beautiful," Taeyong blurts, can't withstand it anymore. "Who you are is beautiful."

        "What?" Jaehyun laughs shyly, turning his gaze down. "Hyung, that's not what you were thinking."

        " _It is_."

        Jaehyun hears the fear in Taeyong's voice, reads the awkward frustration in the air and immediately _knows_. Suddenly it feels a little harder to breath. His heart beats crazier with anticipation, his vision getting hazier with each second. He doesn't dare look up at Taeyong's eyes. "Hyung..."

        This time there's no way Jaehyun doesn't know what Taeyong's actually asking. "Jaehyunnie, do you like?"

        "Do I like what," Jaehyun says, his voice wavering. All of this is so sudden. In the backseat of their van, on the way driving home, after a random day of shooting, it's definitely not the way Jaehyun thought it's gonna happen.

        "Do you like me?" With trembling fingers, Taeyong tips Jaehyun's head upwards to look at his eyes. "Jaehyunnie, do you love me?"

        Jaehyun swallows his doubts and tries to hold his stare. Taeyong's eyes are wide, vulnerable, his brows upturned. Why is his hyung looking more nervous than him? Does he not know his heart already feels like it's going to explode? "Taeyong-hyung, do _you_ love me?"

        "Yes," Taeyong answers without hesitation, his voice high, pressed, like it's about to give way. Jaehyun wants to laugh and cry at the same time. " _Jaehyunnie, I love you._ "

        " _Taeyong-hyung_ ," Jaehyun sighs weakly, doesn't have the strength to look at Taeyong's eyes anymore and hides his face on Taeyong's chest.

        Taeyong laughs despite himself. "What kind of answer is that."

        Jaehyun mumbles against Taeyong's chest. He doesn't even know whose heartbeat it is he hears loud and fast in his ears.

       "What?"

        Jaehyun sighs and mumbles it again in a frustrated tone. His whole body feels so hot, Taeyong's perfume filling his head, the stars getting red and he swears the night's probably blue, so what's the sense on stressing him any further?

        "Okay," Taeyong says, caressing Jaehyun's hair with his other hand that's not as sweaty. "If you can't say it, it's okay."

        " _Taeyong-hyung, I love you too._ "

        Taeyong gasps. "Really?" He presses his hand on Jaehyun's shoulder, wanting to look at his face even just a little. "I really thought you wouldn't say it."

        Jaehyun peeks upwards. His face is probably redder than the stars, whatever. "I wasn't going to say it, but you said I can't, so..."

        "What? So what would you do if I say you can't kiss me?"

        " _Hyung!_ " Jaehyun hides his face on Taeyong's chest and hits Taeyong's side a few times.

        "Ah! Sorry, sorry." Taeyong laughs, patting Jaehyun's back to calm him down. For a while, Taeyong looks at Jaehyun's form--the only one who can be big but look ridiculusly small like this really is only this kitty. "Is it even good for you if you want to sleep like that?"

        Jaehyun pulls back a little, his hands over his face. "...I don't want you to see my face..."

        Taeyong smiles. "We're going to sleep anyway. It's still a long way home and we have to wake early again tomorrow, right?"

        Jaehyun sits back beside Taeyong and sighs again for like the tenth time that night. "Yeah. Let's just sleep for now, hyung."

        Taeyong peeks at Jaehyun who's already closing his eyes. "Jaehyunnie?"

        "Hm?"

        "I love you," Taeyong whispers, grinning.

         Jaehyun smiles. "I love you too."

\---

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Did yall see it coming? Lol I didn't even see it coming. While I was writing even my heart beats so fast only imagining it... Hahaha. Have a nice day everyone!


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